Uninstall

I wish I could uninstall
Uninstall so many things
At this point in life is when you look back and analyze things
either your smiling or frowning
We all say we wouldn't change a thing
But let's face it
if we truly could
There are things we would cross out
If we had the power
Had the chance
In a instance we'd wipeout

Uninstall I would the moment
I first picked up that blade
Though these scars are a part of my body now
They were not once back in the day
Better yet maybe I should uninstall
The idea in itself
What made it bloom in my mind?
Nurtured it,
Watered it,
gave it light?
What I don't get is how an unnatural thing...
Somehow became an action
How it Could it have been so compelling?
That it became my main attraction

Uninstall I will with all my might
Will be The day I saw his face
I can not give you an exact time
Rather exact moment
I fell fucking from grace
He knew what he was doing
looked right threw me and just smiled
A smile that now appears on every man
There are no charmings, just villains in disguise
Rape is not the only thing that can taint a young girl
He used and abused my mind
with things that did not exist in my world yet
Glorified my body
before I even knew what it was for yet

Uninstall the days my grandmothers passed away
Let them live a little longer to see my nieces & nephews beautiful face!
Just a few more moments to say I love, adore & should have told them more
If I could change it all now,
I swear their doors I would have visit more

Uninstall
The moment my nephews heart
Begins to wether, began to shake
How his body just couldn't take It and stared to give away
Until the only thing left was breaths a machine helped him take
That moment it all became clear
I had to swallow, had to face
This was his so called "fate"
& to try to live on now
With that horror movie burned Into my brain
Better yet- Uninstall his cancer
I'll trade in & keep all my troubles
Just to have him back
Life's not right without him
It's like watching a movie
You start to lose interest when the main character leaves the set
I still don't know if it was a curse or blessing
Being beside him during that final breath
But to change it—-NEVER
I could live with that memory
If it's means more pictures of him in my head

Uninstall the instant I dove that sharp knife into my mothers back
Still paying for it now
& will forever
I suppose I'll have to LEARN to just live with that

Uninstall

Uninstall

All the woes, horrors, screams in my life
Because let's all just admit it...
Everyone secretly wants a perfect life*