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Chapter 11

Park Hyojin.

Choi Hyojin.

He didn't want to remember those times, and he didn't want anyone to find out about them. That period of his life was a secret, and he wanted to keep it that way.

But time was running out, and sooner or later, his secrets were bound to be revealed.

And that time was now.

~*~*~*~

Park Hyojin was the only child of a small, happy family. His father loved his mother, and his mother loved his father. They lived peacefully for 6 years, but then his father made a terrible mistake.

When he was in first grade, his father went to jail. At the time, he was too young to remember why, but when he was old enough to understand, his father had already been erased from his life.

Only a year after his parents' divorce, his mother remarried a wealthy man, and they moved away from the countryside into a big city. Hyojin spent countless nights wishing to see the stars in the sky again. People often say you can only wish for one thing for it to come true, and if that was truly the case, his only wish was to go back to the happy family he once had.

His real family.

Now in second grade, Hyojin's entire life was a new thing. He went to a new school, had new parents, and became a new person. His mother despised his biological father for more reasons than he knew, and to completely erase him, Hyojin's name became Choi Hyojin. Only on legal papers did he ever see the words "Park Hyojin."

In this new school with a new life and a new identity, he met Euntaek. After being partnered up by the teacher, they started working on a small project together. It had only been a year, and he was not yet used to the name Choi Hyojin. But it was on that day that he realized he was different from most people.

From then on, his new life got worse and worse.

All throughout elementary school to high school, he was living the life of a boy who didn't actually exist. For about 8 years, he was a pretty boy. He smiled and did as he was told. He was smart, and he got good grades. He was well behaved and well mannered, and everyone who met him loved him. He was a bright, shining boy. He had more than enough friends, and he had a home to return to.

But that place was not home.

Hyojin had lost his home many, many years ago, and he was never going to get it back.

Throughout his school years, the constant manipulation that Euntaek received did not go unnoticed- at least, not to him. While Eunbi was completely oblivious to what was happening to her twin brother, Hyojin saw it every day. In the back of the classroom, at the corner of a hallway, in the boys' bathroom. Euntaek was always being used.

Countless times, he considered doing something about it. Maybe he could've told a teacher or talked to the students who were using him. Maybe he could've done something to make his life better. Park Hyojin would've done something. Park Hyojin would've helped him.

But he was no longer Park Hyojin.

Choi Hyojin would've minded his own business. Choi Hyojin would've carried on with his life because all that matters in his world was him, him, him. Choi Hyojin didn't need anything because he wasn't supposed to need anything. He wasn't supposed to want anything.

Choi Hyojin was the perfect child that Park Hyojin was never meant to be.

But in 7th grade, Euntaek got his savior. Yamanaka Fuji was his name. He was a brilliant boy, polite and proper, everything that Choi Hyojin should've been but wasn't. But at least Euntaek wasn't suffering on his own anymore.

At least he had someone who wasn't Choi Hyojin.

By 10th grade, he had grown used to this role. Polite and smart. Kind and proper. Well mannered and well behaved. That was the child his mother wanted. That was the person he was supposed to be.

Hyojin could be all of those things. He could pretend until he himself believed it, but there was one problem: whether he was Park Hyojin or Choi Hyojin, he was not like most boys. He tried to ignore it; he tried to pretend that feeling didn't exist. It was so easy to pretend he was someone he wasn't, but it was so hard to push this feeling away.

I like boys.

And he'd been hiding this since second grade.

He'd been hiding this since the first day he met Euntaek.

But living with this secret for 8 years was too much. He could do anything, pretend to be anyone, but he could not erase this part of him. So what else was there to do? He had to tell his parents, or he'd never be able to continue this act called Choi Hyojin.

And so, halfway through his Junior year, he came out to his mother and stepfather. In less than 24 hours, he was kicked out and living on the streets. One week later, his "home" moved to the US, and he never saw his family again.

For about a week after that, he genuinely considered committing suicide. He'd been suffering all his life, and making this one mistake had thrown away all of his efforts. There was no point in living anymore. He didn't have an identity now. He didn't have a family.

He didn't have anything.

But one night, as he was standing on the edge of a bridge, he looked up, and for the first time in years, he saw stars shining beautifully in the sky.

And he cried.

There was a point in living because there had always been a light in his darkness. He just had to open his eyes and see it. For so long, his vision had been clouded by this person he was supposed to be, and he forgot how to live for himself. But at that moment, with the stars shining overhead and tears streaming down his face, he realized that he could finally start to live now.

And from then on, he lived. He lived as himself for no one but himself. He didn't care whether he saw his family again. He didn't have a single worry in the world. Because even though he had no home, even though he had no money, even though he had no friends, he had himself.

And Park Hyojin was the best person he could ever choose to live for.