🥀𝐸𝒩𝒟𝐸𝒜𝑅𝑀𝐸𝒩𝒯 ♥ 🌹

20: Doubts

Niara Verano

2:34am October 27th 2019

I laid on the bed crying  just crying my eyes out. It felt good to release my emotions out. I just needed to cry. After what happened at the dinner I felt like we couldn't be together. He had a good life and I had too much baggage. I had to leave him. I couldnt drag him down with me. I wanted him to have a baby a mini him a child to care for to cherish. And I wasnt going to be able to provide that. I couldnt love him as much as any other girl could. 

I got up and put on a hoddie and sweatpants. I had to tell him that.

I hopped he would understand.

• • • • • • • •

I knocked on the door twice and waited.

"Mamas whats up". Kordell said with no hint of sleep in his voice pulling me inside.

"I'm sorry". I croaked out as he pulled me in a hug.

"Mamas whats up tell me?" He asked.

"We can't be together and I love you so much I want you to be happy and that can't be with me". I cried in his chest.

"Niara what is this bullshit you talking bout"? He pulled away.

"I CANT FUCKING HAVE KIDS a-and I...I go mute sometimes and I'm just so hurt I won't be able to control it yo..you..n..need someone you can lo..love unconditionally....and I'm not the person". I cried harder.

"Nia". I looked down.

"NIARA look at me". He raised his voice causing me to jump and raise my head up.

"Even if you have cancer,I don't care if you have 3 different disease , hell I don't even care if you have chlymedia I still love you. You can't decide what type of love I want. You make me happy. You make me feel happy. Do you understand that? Not even my mama the woman that pushed me out of her pussy makes me feel that but you do. So please don't tell me that bullshit". He said.

"But-". He cut me off.

"Niara it's a fucking 69% chance and if you can't then fuck it I still have you if you really want kids we can adopt but I'm not leaving you because of that". He kissed me.

"I'm so lucky to have you". I laughed half heartly cleaning my tears.

"I'm even luckier I have you". He kissed my lips.

"Well I'm sorry to interupt but I have to say that was a good speech Kordell you must have inherited that from your father". Kordells mom said causing us to turn around.

"Hey Mrs. Neffula I didnt mean to wake you up". I spoke a bit embarassed and I felt Kordells arm sneak around my waist.

"It's ok darling..Kordell can you give us some space I'll like to talk to Niara for some minutes". His mom said taking a seat .

"Niara I'll meet you upstairs". Kordell said going up the stairs.

"Niara take a sit please". She told me and I did just that.

"You know you're the first girl Kordell had brought to his home". She smiled.

"Oh...I was unaware of that". I said a bit flattered.

"Yeah it suprised me when he brought you to the dinner. Then I knew he loves you".

"I was kind of shy to come I have a history with his brother". I sighed remebering the things he had said to me earlier.