The Angst

Chapter 5: The Awakening

The operation went on for 5 hours. Abir was shifted to the ICCU. Everyone else had gone back home. Kunal was staying back with his bhai. Mishti wanted to stay back as well, but Badi Maa didn't let her. She was already tired, Rajashree argued and felt she needed a good nights sleep. Her Bade Papa, Vishambhar assured her that she can visit the hospital in the morning. So Mishti gave in. She went to see Abir in the ICCU one last time before heading back home with others, silently praying for his speedy recovery.

It was past midnight and yet she was wide awake. After an eventful day that Mishti had had, she should have been dead asleep by now. But she was restless. Kuhu had called Kunal to enquire about Abir's health. From her, Mishti got to know that he was stable and recovering now. He was responding well to the medication and in time, Abir would be just fine, the doctor had said. There was absolutely no reason to worry now. Even then, Mishti was pacing up and down in her room. Kuhu was fast asleep and waking her up was not a solution for Mishti. They didn't really get along that well and anyway, Kuhu would be least interested in hearing her out, she thought.

There was only one person in this whole wide world who was ever ready to be a good listener to Mishti... Abir. He would always hear her out patiently, even if it was the stupidest joke on this planet. But today, he was not available. But even if he was, would she have been able to talk her heart out aloud in front of him? It was him that she wanted to discuss about! Only if she could talk to him. Only if she could call him. Call... phone... Abir's phone... it had been with her. The nurse had given his belongings to her for safe keeping. It was still in her bag. Must be. She had not opened her bag later. She had forgotten to hand over his stuff to his family.

Mishti was strangely at peace after she realised she had Abir's belongings in her possession. She retrieved the parcel from her hand bag and opened it. It had his clothes, wallet, keys, pen and phone.

She caressed the phone's screen. He had bought this one on her insistence. She had literally harrassed him into buying one. She unlocked the phone and the home screen came up. It was a picture of spectacles. HER spectacles. The ones that had broken during the fire incident at the NGO. Abir had gifted her new ones. She had never to this point realised that he had kept the broken ones with him. He didn't just keep them, he had kept them safely. Mishti was pleasantly surprised by his gesture. She toyed with his phone for some more time. He didn't have many apps. She went through the gallery. It had a lot of her pictures from the NGO. She was elated to see her photos. They were all perfect shots. How and when had he managed to capture her in such good light? They were all beautiful! She fell in love with her own self a little more after seeing those pictures.

She picked up the pen. He had scribbled down a lot of his poems with this one. She remembered him signing her appointment letter with this very pen. She found a sheet of paper and wrote his name... ABIR!

Mishti hesitated a little before opening his wallet. Should she? Will it be okay to look into his wallet? Why not? She should check to see if something is missing. But how would she know if something is missing? She decided to check it anyways. She convinced herself that she will make an inventory of all that is there and then Abir can decide if anything is amiss. It had cash, credit cards, debit cards, NGO receipts and a photograph. It was a photograph of little Abir with his parents in their happier times when they all stayed together. The young Abir was so sweet and innocent that Mishti wanted to hug him. She took out the photograph from it's slot... only to find her own photograph underneath it. Abir had kept her photo in his wallet, along with his family photo! He treated her photo like his family photo. No... He treated HER like his family! Mishti was overwhelmed with emotions. She grabbed his shirt and hugged it. She had happy tears in her eyes... she was so important to him. How could she be so important for someone like Abir! He was so special. He was so sweet... he was so... hurt! Mishti noticed the blood on his shirt and the days happenings flashed in front of her eyes. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to be with Abir.

She kept the pen in her dressing unit and packed rest of the stuff as it was. She stuffed the packet in her handbag and off she went, out of her balcony. She had a habit of going out for cycling at odd hours, so Kuhu won't be surprised at her absence, she thought.

It was 3 am when Mishti reached the hospital. Kunal was stretched on a bench outside the ICCU. He woke up with a start when Mishti walked past him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I forgot to hand over this" she shoved the parcel in his hands.

"But you were supposed to come in the morning. You could have brought it then!"

"It is morning. Technically." She reached for the door...

"Wait! Where are you going? Bhai needs rest. You can't disturb him like that."

"I am not disturbing anyone. But you are! Stop talking so loudly." And with that, she walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

Kunal wanted to grab her hand and ask her to go away from his bhai. But one look at her, and Kunal knew he couldn't. He stepped back. Later, he thought. Not today. She was bhai's saviour. He didn't have the heart of saying no to her.

Mishti walked upto his bed. He was sleeping. His face was so serene, so innocent! Who would not be in love with him! At least she was. Yes, she was in love with this gem of a person, her best friend, her confidante. And now, the love of her life.

She touched his hand and his fingers instinctively folded. She sat down besides him, holding his hand. With her other hand, she caressed his hair. Her fingers gently moving through his soft, silky, long hair.

"I am in love with you! I have always been. Just that, I realised it a little late. And I am so sorry for that, Abir!" She whispered, lest she might wake him up. A lone tear escaped his closed eyes. Then slowly, he opened his eyes.

"Abir! I didn't want to wake you up."

"I've been awake for a long time now."

"Do you need something? Should I get you some water?"

"Mish...ti!!"

"Yes?"

"You are here!"

" I am here."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too. "

"Will you stay with me, now that you are here?"

"I'll stay right here. Besides you."

"What time is it?" He asked.

"It is the right time, my dear!"

"I've waited really long for this time, you know?"

"Yes, I know. It's been a long wait for both of us."

"Please don't make me wait ever again."

"I won't. I promise."

"You know, I was thinking..."

"Shh! Don't talk so much. You are exerting your self."

"I've been wanting to tell you, how much I love you... how much I have longed for you..."

"I am dying to hear you out. But not now. Later, when you feel better."

"I am a lot better now."

"I want you to be better than this. Take rest. Go back to sleep."

"You want me to sleep, honey?"

"Yes, please...for sometime."

"Okay. I'll go back to sleep. But you will stay."

She nodded."Ofcourse! I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Would you sing me a lullaby?"

"Yes, my love."

And she sang in her melodious voice, the lyrics that he had penned down in her diary...