Yakusoku (Avara Stadium Book 1)

Before I Fall in Love

Akiko showed up the next day feeling like she'd been run over. Himawari was already there at the stadium, and he looked at her with big eyes.

"Whoa. You were drinking again last night."

"Fuck you. Like your shittiness wasn't part of why."

He sighed, and walked in through the front doors with Stabilizer. "You are falling apart. I thought this whole robotics thing was you putting yourself back together."

"It was never for you or for robotics," she muttered. "It was for Tess."

He stopped halfway across the lobby and turned back to her, his look more serious than she usually saw from him. "It was for her?"

"I met her the day after you showed up. I fell for her so hard it hurt. I wanted to be worth her affection, so I... tried to change everything. But it didn't work. I've barely had a sober day."

She was expecting him to laugh or the look of judgment in his eyes, but he was all sympathy. "So that's what it was. You really care for her that much, don't you?"

The lobby was quiet, but not empty enough to be talking about this here. She wiped her eyes and said, "This isn't the time or place."

"Then when? Where?"

She rolled her eyes and pushed past him, towards the door to the back. "Well, I've gone and fucked things up with her. I got drunk last night and told her not to come see me and that she should leave me, and then I hung up on her."

"Why?"

"Because I fucking deserve it. Maybe live my life for five fucking seconds and you'd get it."

He groaned. "I'm so tired of you complaining about yourself."

"Yeah, fuck off." She pushed through the doors and stormed towards the back, back to where there was a crowd of people watching, waiting, people who all saw her now as the violent bitch who threw Himawari off the controls.

Of course, the prevailing sentiment was that he—looking like a real roboticist—knew what he was doing and she was a psycho who wanted to take the reins. But that was fine. Let them see her as a psycho. She'd go down in her blaze of glory as a psycho.

She barely got into the chamber at large before Tess ran up to her and wrenched her by the wrist off to the side, Akiko's breath catching in her throat as Tess pulled her into one of the stations.

"Akiko," Tess said, her voice stern, "are you all right? How are you feeling today? Better, worse, or the same?"

Akiko rolled her eyes. Maybe she should just be bitchier, she thought, be mean and nasty and Tess would get her head figured out and leave her like she should have. "Oh, I'm doing rosy. Never been better."

Tess looked hurt, and Akiko wanted to curl up and cry, or throw herself on her and apologize and tell her how much she meant to her. "Akiko, I am so, so sorry. Did I have anything to do with what happened yesterday?"

"Yesterday? You mean my and Himawari's thrilling victory in the qualifiers?"

Tess pursed her lips. "I'm talking about what happened after you went home. I want to support you."

"Yeah, go tell the pile of rubble you want to help hold it together." Akiko turned and tried to walk out, but Tess caught her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Akiko," Tess said, her voice small and trembling. "I... did I do something wrong? Did I do something to make you upset with me? Please tell me what it is. I want to do better. I want to be better for you, too."