There was something so purifying about the rain. The way it wipes away everything and the way it seemed to usher in an atmosphere of new, an atmosphere of fresh. A way to renew and change not only the earth but the people in it as well.
Amanda always remembered that her mother used to dance in the rain; she would hear the thunder in the distance and run upstairs to put on her flip flops and sundress. It was always the same sundress, it was white with gray clouds hand painted all over it, thin white straps that tied on top of her dainty shoulders. An a-line skirt that would end the day clinging to her mothers leg as if to hide from the rain. Her mother called it her "rain dress", which Amanda always thought was obvious by the design.
Amanda would sit and watch as her mother opened the door to their small home and step outside into the pouring rain. There was only a small gray porch that stood in front of their quaint white house. It separated her mother from the streets, and gave her a stage to perform her rain dance. The worse the storm, the longer her mother would stay outside, performing for imaginary watchers, twirling and dancing and staring up at the clouds. Amanda would watch her from inside the house, wondering why her mother would do something so odd and inconvenient. She had never seen anyone else join her mother, but she remembered the smile that was always on her mother's face when she came dripping back into their home, panting, face flushed and excited, eyes still dancing with raindrops. It would stay on her mothers face for days, and soon fade away among the storm of life.
Amanda closed her eyes and listened as raindrops hit the window outside of the room she was in. She didn't need to see the steamed window to know it was pouring outside. She heard people bustling inside of the room, the swoosh of skirts, the click of heels, and the hushed whispers of women entering her haven.
"Is she ok?"
"Should we shake her?"
"Has anyone checked on her?"
The whispers added to her storm, becoming crackling lightning, as adrenaline began to course through her veins. She kept her eyes closed, sealing herself off visually from what she was sure, were pitying stares from the coven around her. Thunder once again shook the building causing the lights to flicker, and the coven to titter once again. Amanda focused on the sounds of the wind whipping and whistling outside of that small building, the large tree in the courtyard sent haunting whispers of leaves and branches bending to the storms might. Rain met the whispers in a steady drum beat, pelting the small window pane as if it was begging for entrance into the room. For once, Amanda, let herself be whisked away into the storms audible wonder, she felt what her mother had felt, the rhythm of the rain.
"I love you, Mom" she whispered to herself, so quietly, all anyone else saw was the movement of her lips. Amanda allowed herself to be swept away until her adrenaline popped her eyes open, and pushed her body off the floor, her heavy skirts seemed to try and anchor her back down, but the rhythm was calling her. Without making eye contact with anyone, she grasped the handle of the room, and pushed freeing herself from the room. As she placed one of her feet outside the door and touched the black and white marbled floor of the building, there was nothing left to stop her. She hurriedly placed one foot down after the other, sprinting towards the large oak doors that led to the entrance of the building.
"Amanda!"
"Where are you going?!"
"Amanda, come back! You'll ruin your hair and your makeup! It'll take hours to get everything back just right."
Their cries fell on deaf ears, Amanda didn't care, she knew what she needed, she knew what her body craved.
As she shoved open the door to the courthouse and stepped into the pouring rain, finally able to take in the instruments that created her soul melody, her adrenaline began to recede. All she felt was heavy. Not just from the corset, hoop skirt, and layers of silk. Emotionally taxed, she'd been going off of that same adrenaline boost for months. the sky dropped the water from the heavens, her eyes released a storm of their own. She was so tired, so so tired of hiding her emotions. She let the rain cleanse her and her thoughts and her body and her mind. The past few months had ravaged her and her sense of humanity, she needed this release, this purifying bath that God had so graciously sent for her.
She felt arms grab her and Amanda went limp, her body sinking to the hard ground, that rushed to meet her knees. The pain was welcomed and gave her the perfect excuse to continue crying.
Amanda hadn't cried in years, not since her mother's funeral. It had rained that day too, but Amanda had seen it as God taunting her. As if he was saying, look what your mom can't do anymore.
The arms disappeared and Amanda heard slight mumbles and retreating footsteps. Good. She wanted to be left alone, to feel. To release. To relax. Amanda looked up to the heavens and let the water cascade over her face and mix with the saltiness of her tears. Was she having a nervous breakdown? Was this what it felt like to lose a complete grip on reality?
"Amanda?"
Amanda heard the voice and her heart lept. She stood up from the ground, her white dress filthy and droopy from being assaulted with rain water and concrete. She knew her makeup was running down her face, and the graceful bun that her hair had once been in was now in loose wet curls around her face.
Amanda turned to face him, her lip quivering from all the crying and afraid of what he would think.
Franklin looked at his bride, wet, droopy, and still the most beautiful thing he had seen in his life. His heart leapt for her, his droopy bride, and he stepped closer to her wrapping her in a tight hug.
Amanda's fears were washed away and she hugged him back, sobbing softly into his chest.
"Franklin, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to ruin the wedding, but you know the rain and my mom. She should BE here." she looked up at him as they held each other, rain now seeping into his tuxedo, and his dress shoes.
"No, baby, you did no such thing. You are still the most beautiful bride that any many could ask for. How many people do you know that can say they had their wedding outside in the rain?"
Amanda gave him a small smile and rested her head on his chest.
"I'm just so scared, what if I'm not a good wife. What if we ARE too young, what if we should just wait and have a larger wedding. What if-"
"Shhh, my love, just relax. You are all I want in a good wife, you are all I need in life. Just as sure as I am that it will rain another day, is just as sure as I am about you. I love you with every part of my being. My love for you is in more abundance than rain drops from the sky." he kissed her head and rubbed her back as they stood there in the pouring rain. Thunder shaking the sky and he trees around them.
Frankling took the last remaining bobby pins out of Amanda's hair and pulled his bride back to arms length.
"Amanda, will you dance with me?" he smiled at her and took one of her hands into his.
"I would love to, but oh, just wait." Amanda rushed back inside, leaving Franklin in the rain. He pushed his hair back from his face and put his suit jacket on the railing leading into the courthouse. He awkwardly gave a half wave to the people walking up the steps next to him in umbrella's as he waited for his bride to return.
"Franklin?"
He turned and there was Amanda, in a crisp white sundress with gray cloud all over it. Her makeup had been wiped from her face, and her hair had been brushed back. She was radiant. She was his peace, his calm, his everything. She walked towards him until they both stood body to body in the pouring rain.
Franklin took her hand and kissed the top lightly before pulling her even closer and sliding his hand around her waist. Amanda took her hands and placed them around his neck, she could feel the rain starting to slow, but knew that she wanted to keep dancing with him, and to stay in this moment forever. She knew why her mother danced now, rain was her release. It was her savior, it was her calm, it was her everything. But, Amanda stood now, with the man that would be her rain.
"I want to be in the rain with you, forever." Amanda said as she blinked rainwater out of her eyes and looked up at Franklin. He smiled in return and gave her a soft kiss on her lips, as they continued to sway.
The last boom of thunder sounded as the rain scattered, but there Amanda and Franklin stood, swaying, in their own personal rain. She finally understood why her mother would go out in the rain.
