Falling Apart (Re-written)

O N E

Virgil had decided a long time ago that being part of the dark sides was not in his best interests. While he worked with them, he was bullied and treated like he was only good for worrying people. Even though his current family was harsh, they had changed, when he told them his name, he had decided a while ago that he was no long a dark side.
As Virgil worked with the others, it got easier and easier to. They started listening more, and Virgil then stopped trying to fight so hard to be heard. He knew that they all wanted Thomas's interests to go first, what ever was best for Thomas was what happened.
A few weeks before he revealed him name he created an app on his tablet. It was used to control the others emotions, now at first Virgil felt bad, but he slowly learned how to use it to help Thomas. When Roman was getting sad and wasn't giving Thomas ideas, Virgil would set an alarm for a week, if he got better; he didn't have his emotions messed with, but if he stayed the same or got worse; Virgil stepped in, he would take away the sadness. Patton's was keeping all of his emotions lowered, all of them, he never messed with positive emotions to much, just negative ones when they where increasing fast he would take it and then talk to Patton to help him. Logan was hard, he pretended not to have emotions, but Virgil saw that he frequented got bad anxiety and sadness.
The thing though about the app was the emotions had to go somewhere so Virgil took them and had to deal with them for himself and the others could function. It was awful, he had days where everyone was a mess of emotions and he ended up self harming. Their where days where anger festered inside of him. Their where days all of his emotions where so strong and overwhelming he almost couldn't stand it.
But he loved his friends; his family and didn't want them to have to deal with all the negative emotions. This morning, the sides had quite a lot of stress, today Joan was coming over and helping them with a new song.
Virgil opened the app and removed the heavy stress from the 3 sides. Suddenly worrying a lot more that normal. The stress had started to get to him as the voices showed up. He went back to his bed and sat their trying to block out the voices. At first he just let them, but realized that things could go so wrong if he did that, so he forced them out. But they kept getting louder.

YOUR WORTHLESS

THE OTHERS HATE YOU

THE DARK SIDES WANTED YOU TO LEAVE

YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ANY OF THEM

YOU ARE A DESIES

YOU ARE UGLY

YOU ARE FAT

YOU ARE THE MOST HATED OF ALL THE SIDES

Blocking out the thoughts only worked for so long before they started getting to him and the erg to self harm came back. Virgil knew it was bad, anything that was made to hurt yourself was bad, but the voices in his head told him otherwise and after a while the thing you hear over and over like screaming started to become true in your mind.

Virgil went into the bathroom and locked the door, trying to lock out the voices, which didn't work. He sat on the floor of the bathroom and pulled out his razor. He pulled up the sleeves of his hoodie to revel cuts, most old, but their where a few newer ones. He added to the slices in his arm, adding one more, then two, and he kept going until he had added close to twenty. As he threw the razor into the draw he heard someone knocking.

"Hey kiddo, it's time for lunch!" He heard Patton yell from outside his room. Virgil hadn't realized how long he had been in the bathroom, or falling apart in his room.

"I'm not that hungry, but I'm going to finish up this project and be down in about five minutes."

"Ok kiddo," Patton walked away and Virgil cleaned up his arm washing it and wrapping his arm with gauze. As he finished, he pulled his hoodie sleeves back over his arms, making sure to avoid touching the cuts while also checking to make sure they were all well hidden. Virgil walked down stairs to see the group sitting around the table, Roman had some leftover spaghetti, Logan was eating a pb and j sandwich. Patton was having a heat up burrito. Virgil went and sat down, pulling out his phone and seeing they were all stable.

"So Virgil, since Joan cancelled on us today, I thought we could go to a party?" Roman asked, their wasn't a clear question but it was their it was "Are you gonna let us go to the party."

"Who's party?" Asked Virgil.

"Valerie, she and some of her acting friends are celebrating the last performance." Virgil nodded and then thought.

"Can we bring someone who we are friends with, just as a buffer if anything goes wrong." Virgil suggested. "We could invite Leo or Terrance."

"We can ask Valerie if that's okay and then ask them, and if neither of them are free we can ask Quill." Patton added.

"That works." Virgil spoke, even though he was a little anxious about it. "I did enjoy her performance the night before last, I don't think that a show with Valerie could be bad."

The rest of lunch went by with the group laughing about random things. Virgil tried but a few times he could see Logan spot him rubbing his arms where he had cut earlier. After they had finished lunch the group started watching some disney movies, they started with Moana. Which as far as disney movies was pretty good, the group manged to finish the movie before it was time to get ready.

"So guys I think for the party I will stay out of the picture, I won't duck out, but I will make my presence more subtle. Which means I can't be out and about." The rest of them nodded and Virgil headed up to his room, and saw that Patton was sad when he pulled up the app. He forced the emotion out and took it on himself. As the night started he felt the urge to try and prevent him from going, he ended up going with all three of his friends, which made he knew would mean he had an escape. Virgil knew deep down that the anxeity's he had where wrong, but he didn't care.
The party happened and, who would have guessed, nothing went wrong. Thomas took an uber home since he was a little tipsy and said he would come and get his car in the morning, he had met a cute boy and exchanged numbers with him before heading home where he passed out the second he hit his bed. Not drunk but drained. As Thomas fell asleep he allowed himself to leave his room, as he walked down stairs he heard two people talking.
"Pat, I know you want to tell the others but we can't say anything, at least not yet, we should go out a few more times and then we can tell the others we are dating." From what Virgil could see Patton nodded at Logans request and then kissed him. The pair settled in on the coach and put on a movie. Virgil walked over to Romans room to ask to hang out.
But when he opened the door, quite a suprise was waitng for him.