Daytona

Ch.3 (Chicago)

Clarke's POV

   I had stayed in Chicago longer than anticipated, but I've gotten very close to both Josie and Zayn. They were an odd couple of people, but I adored them nonetheless.

   Today we were wandering around Millennium Park, taking in the different statues and fountains that seemed to go on forever. One in particular caught my attention. There were five figures, all draped above and around one another as the water spilled over them.

   Although the woman kneeling on the ground is what I was focused on. A look I couldn't describe chiseled onto her face as she reached out, towards what, I wasn't sure. I felt connected to her. Having so much emotion that the look upon my face seemed distant and unidentifiable. Continuously reaching towards something that, no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to grasp because I was stuck in place. Exactly like her. A statue forever frozen, yearning for what is just out of reach.

  "Earth to Clarke?" Zayn mumbled as he waved a hand in front of my face. I shook my head and blinked at him.

"Sorry, what were you saying?"

"Oh, nothing important. Lil Zayn here was just asking you on a date! Without me," Josie sighed," but hey! It was bound to happen, you little love birds."

   I looked towards him as he shoved his hands into his signature leather jacket and kicked around the pebbles that made up the walkway.

He peaked up at me and slightly shrugged, as if to ask for my answer.

"I'd love to, really. I just don't think I can because I'll be moving again so-"

"WHAT?!" I heard Josie screech from beside me before I could finish my sentence. "What do you mean you're moving again? You don't live here?"

I shook my head slowly as I glanced at Zayn once more, who stood silently.

"Well what the hell. Were you even going to tell us you were leaving? We've been the three musketeers for almost a month now. You were just gonna leave us behind?" She rambled on, making me feel two inches tall.

  "It wasn't like that. I wasn't supposed to meet you guys, not that I regret it of course, but I was traveling. I-I has some stuff happen after graduation and was trying to get away from it all. I've already stayed here two months longer than I had planned." I mumbled quickly, not knowing how to tell them about everything.

I would be a pity party to them, just as I was back home. I didn't want that. Being here with them, without them knowing about my parents, is the first time I had felt human. That I had felt like a living breathing person. I wasn't caught in their sorrowful glances or remarks. I was just me.

   "When are you leaving then?" Zayn snapped. Was he annoyed with me? What had I done?

  "I-I'm not sure. I wasn't ready to leave you guys quite yet. I enjoy our time together, but I shouldn't have even let this go on as long as it has."

  "This? And just what do you mean by that?" His eyes were dark as he finally tore his gaze from the ground to look at me. I felt my heart break at the sight. He was angry, but his eyes threatened to spill at any given moment.

  "Our friendship. Us hanging out and going places. I knew it was a bad idea from the start." I stole my eyes away from him and began to look at the fountain once again as I fell back into my mind. Here I was again. So close to normalcy, but glued to my spot as it dangled in front of me.

  "Here I was thinking you were different. Or ya know actually gave a shit." He mumbled lowly.

I sighed,"Maybe I should just go."

   Josie perked up at my words, her mouth dropping open in protest but no sound made its way out. Her eyes, big, green, and sad stared back at me hopelessly.

"Yea. Maybe you should." My eyes widened as my face turned to look at Zayn once more. Any hint of sadness removed from his brown orbs. My heart sank, and I blinked hard feeling the tears begin to build.

  "Zayn!" Josie walked over and swatted his arm, a gesture that seemed common between them. His gaze never left mine as I just nodded to him.

  "I thought you were different too. I guess we were wrong." I said sadly, glancing at him once more to see his eyes soften before walking away.

Surprisingly, not many people had been aware of our little outburst. I was thankful not to have to deal with looks and whispers as I sulked away, tears now streaming down my cheeks.

I could hear the rubble move beneath my footsteps, but what saddened me most was that I didn't hear anyone following after me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zayn

Fuck. I hated myself for the way I had just acted. I wasn't even angry. Not at her at least, but at myself for getting attached to her so quickly, then pushing her away as if she was nothing.

  She wasn't nothing. Hell, she was everything. In the short time I'd known Clarke, I was told about her travels, how she preferred to read books instead of comics (no matter how much Josie forced them upon her), she had liked Chinese food, but only if it was from a specific restaurant, she loved to listen to cassette tapes or vinyl records instead of the music in her phone.

  What I didn't know, is that she extended her time in Chicago just to be with Josie and I. I also didn't know why she had come here, or why she'd had to leave. Most importantly, I didn't know why I had let her go so easily.

  "You shouldn't have been so mean." Josie mumbled, wiping the stray tears from her cheeks.

I know.

"You didn't even give her a chance to explain. Maybe we could've talked her out of leaving if you hadn't gotten so angry." Her voice filled with disdain as she continued.

  "She wouldn't of left. She could've been happy here! We know everyone around here, we could've helped land her a job at the store, found her a nice apartment! She could've even stayed with Lucy and I... if she wanted." Josie's voice shrunk back down as she began to cry again.

I know, Josie.

I patted her shoulder, just so she knew her little outburst didn't go unnoticed. At first she jerked away from me, then after a moment she pulled me into a hug. I stood there awkwardly smoothing her sweater over her back as she cried.

  "Do you think she'll ever come back? Ya know just to visit at least?" She mumbled through my chest.

I shrugged, "We could always go check up on her. She couldn't have made it far. We'll just head to her hotel and see if we can catch her, yea?"

Josie looked up at me with puffy eyes and red cheeks, "I'd like that."