2 A.M. Silence | ✓

04 | hopelessly hopeful

I can count a thousand dollars
worth of damage
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IT WAS NEARLY 2 A.M. when Diana left the house and headed to the park. The sky was dark, quivering with mystery and wonder that floated lightly in the night's air.

Midnight air was dream-like. The town was asleep, leaving the streets hauntingly quiet except for the wind and the eerie scraping of leaves against the ground. It was when all things dark flourished, and for that, Diana adored it. The voices in her head began to quiet momentarily and Diana closed her eyes to enjoy the rare silence.

When she turned the corner, a body slammed into her and pushed her backwards against the wall.

"Shit," she muttered as she tried to regain her balance.

She turned to see a hooded girl clutching a brown duffel bag. The girl looked at Diana with tamed eyes and said in a hushed voice, "Sorry, I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine," Diana muttered as she leaned her head back and took a deep breath. Her eyes were still bloodshot from her meltdown earlier and her entire body still trembled.

"Are you alright?" The girl said softly.

Diana let out a humorless laugh and met the brown eyes of her companion. It was a stupid question that Diana couldn't bring herself to answer. But then something in her mind clicked when she realized she recognized her.

"Kienna Matthews," Diana stated.

The girl's eyes flashed, like she was surprised Diana knew her.

"You know me?" Kienna said slowly.

Diana knew everyone. "You're dating Christopher."

Kienna looked away, "I was."

Diana frowned, because it was unusual for her to not know something. She wanted to ask what happened, knowing the little voice inside her head would pester her if she didn't find out. But after a moment of pondering, Diana shook her head and leaned back against the wall. Kienna's presence only fueled her pain even more.

The cold night air hugged the two girls tightly as if it could sense the heartache in both of them.

"Whatever it is," Kienna said, "it's going to be okay."

Diana shook her head. "It's not," she whispered. "It's not. Nothing will ever be okay again." Because nothing had ever been okay.

"Don't say that," Kienna said softly. "Everything will turn out for the better."

"If that was true," Diana breathed, "then why are you running away?" 

Kienna's breath hitched as she looked down at her duffel bag, no doubt wondering how on earth Diana knew.

Seconds of silence passed before Kienna's delicate voice filled the air, "Because there's nothing left for me here." The unmasked pain in her voice sent shivers running down Diana's spine. 

Kienna's shattered eyes held Diana's, "I'm tired of this place. Tired of what it's done to me. But I'm running into a world of possibilities. A world for me to explore." Kienna's eyes sparkled with hope, "There's so much more to life than just this, Diana."

"Take it from me. The world will break you down, but it'll always piece you back together," she said quietly, her eyes flashing, "even when you don't want it to."

Diana found herself staring at a broken shell of a girl. A girl who had been hurt over and over again and yet still stood. A girl whose sad eyes strangely mirrored her own. Something about it made Diana angry, angry at herself, angry at Kienna, angry at the world.

"What happened between you and Christopher?" Diana couldn't stop herself from asking.

Kienna didn't answer, which only made Diana more intrigued. 

"I'll tell you a secret if you tell me yours," Diana said lightly, her usual malice replaced by genuine comfort and empathy. 

Her companion laughed humorlessly as she rocked on her feet, pondering. 

"He loved me," Kienna said after a few moments. She said it in a manner of violence, her tone sharp and unbelieving. The words seemed to carve their way out of her mouth. Words that were spoken but not believed in. Kienna's fingers fidgeted at the straps of her bag, her sad eyes staring down at the ground. "He told me did," she whispered. Her voice was a broken song, a melody that had gone awry. "But he lied," she rasped, her voice cracking, "just like everyone else."

Don't you see? Diana wanted to tell her. That's all that love is, a lie.

Love can make you feel alive, until you're suddenly stripped of it and the only thing it'll make you feel is dead. 

"But I'm going to make things better," Kienna said, almost as if talking to herself. "I'm going to make things better because I deserve better. And I think once you realize that, Diana, that you don't owe the world shit, you'll see that we all have a choice. Our stories can be dictated by other's lies, or we can just hold on. The world outside is waiting for you to conquer it."

The words echoed into the air, dancing at Diana's ears. But before Diana could say anything, Kienna was already backing away. The broken girl that had taped herself back together hugged her duffel bag closely to herself and gave a small wave, "Good-bye, Diana. Take care of yourself."

And just like that, Diana felt Kienna Matthews slip through her fingers. Perhaps she should've stopped her, but the sliver of hope that hid in the runaway girl's haunted eyes told Diana it was for the best.

It was strange, but Diana felt almost inspired when she looked into Kienna's eyes that were as broken as hers and yet still held so much love and hope for the world. For a second, the voices in her head were rendered speechless and she instead heard whispers of timeless dreams that floated in the sky and laughter that echoed that of happiness. Diana had never left this town, never seen the beach, the cities...she let herself dream about the wonders that awaited her.

But alas, the screaming voices returned, and it all vanished in a snap. As she watched Kienna leave and disappear into the night, Diana had to wonder.

How could the world build her back together when pieces were missing?