Try Again | Namgi

Chapter 4

Yoongi POV

Groaning in mild frustration and pain, I run a hand through my hair. I've got a fairly nasty headache from how little sleep I got last night, but I need to be here in the studio today getting actual work done.

Though, I get even more distracted when there's a knock at my door. Turning in my chair to look and see, I watch as my door gets pushed open to reveal Hoseok. I give him a confused look, not understanding what's going on or why he's decided to randomly show up.

"Everything okay, Hobi?" I ask with a small frown, watching as he closes the door behind him before moving to take a seat on my couch. He sighs at this, running a hand through his hair.

"There's something I need to talk to you about." He says softly, looking up at me with a small smile. I raise an eyebrow at this, wondering what's got him so distraught.

"You know you can always talk to me about anything, Hobi." I tell him calmly, trying not to panic over all of this just yet. He gives me a small smile at this, shaking his head.

"Jimin and Tae want to go out to dinner tomorrow. They've got a friend they want to bring along, and they wanted Jungkook and I to bring you along." He explains gently, carefully watching me for some sort of reaction most likely.

"I'm assuming that I don't know this person that they want to bring along, and you're concerned because it's a new person and because I'd be out to dinner with the two of you and your boyfriends." I comment quietly. He nods at this, staying silent.

I bite my lip at this, not sure how to feel.

I mean, I don't wanna say no. I'd like to be fucking normal for once and not have to worry about the rest of the people in this world. Jimin and Tae are good people. I know that. They treat Hobi and Kookie right and make the both of them extremely happy. That's all I want for them. I don't really mind too much spending a little time with them. But the new person...

When the hell was the last time I met someone new that hadn't been for an interview?

It's been years...

"Yeah, I can do that." I mumble quietly, running a hand through my hair. Hobi gives me a look at this, not seeming too convinced.

"Are you sure about this, hyung? I don't want you trying to force yourself into something that you're not going to be comfortable with. I can easily tell them that it's not gonna work." Hoseok responds cautiously.

"It's been years, Seok. I gotta get over it and move past it at some point, even if the nightmares don't leave. I can't just sit here suffering alone for the rest of my life." I murmur softly, not looking up at him.

"You know I only want the best for you and want to help, right? You're my best friend, Yoongi." Hoseok says gently, standing up to come kneel down in front of me so that he can look at me properly. I pout a little at this, nodding my head.

"I have to grow up at some point though. I have to let it go and I have to move on from it. I can't keep holding you back from your boyfriend, and I don't wanna keep holding myself back from other people just because of what's happened before." I mumble quietly. He smiles at this though, shaking his head.

"Hyung, Tae understands. And you have every right to have the fears that you do. Sooyeon was a complete bitch that didn't deserve you. We just caught up to the party a little too late, and you suffered a lot because of that. You've gone through so much, Yoongi. Don't discount yourself for everything that you're still accomplishing now." Hoseok says softly, brushing his fingers through my hair. I whimper at this, tears beginning to form.

"I just wanna be normal again, Seok. I wanna be able to sleep on my own. I wanna be able to not be afraid of loud noises. I wanna be able to meet other people and not be fucking terrified of their motives. I wanna be able to make my own goddamn music again and not be petrified of the potential consequences. I just wanna be my old self again. The one that didn't have many fears because I knew I had little to lose back then, or at least what I thought was little to lose."