Strong ⚓️

Strong | L.S

Love.

What a simple, yet difficult, missunderstood word.

It is there, some people just..aren't searching for it. Or aren't opening their eyes enough to see it.

And I am talking about the so-called Larry Stylinson.

Half of the world believes it, then there's the other half which doesn't.

Keeping up with a fake girlfriend, being forced to deny all the rumours of Harry and I, just because our management doesn't want us together because; it is wrong. It's just too much for a human beeing.

I am reminding you that I have feelings too.

Well, the day has arrived. I no longer have patience for certain things, not because I've become a filthy arrogant, but simply because Iv'e reached a point in my life where I don't want to waste anymore time with things that hurt or displease me. I have no patience for cynizm, hiding, and demands for any nature. I lost will to please those who do not like me, to love those who do not love me and to smile at those who do not want to smile at me. I no longer want to spend a fraction of a minute to those who cannot keep up with me, who lie and discomfort and want me to repeat the process like them. I decided not to coexist anymore with pretense, hypocrisy and dishonesty. I hate conflict and comparisons. I no longer care what they say, they might as well go to hell. I will not sacrifice my own happiness just because some people think or believe that it is wrong. I do not find interest in what they will say or do anymore, even if they threaten me. I will not sacrifice my patience to those who don't desserve it in the first place. If they do not like me, they can find another idol, job or thing to do with their lives. This is my history, my life and my head that is being played at and I will not spend another moment hiding behind a shadow that half of the world already thinks that it is unreal.

Shortly. I will not pretend anymore.

I will tell the world that I am homosexual. That I have kept up with a fake girlfriend for three years and that the love of my like is Harry Edward Styles.

The band will keep going with it's job. It's me that has to be released from the chains.

You have no idea how much it hurts to see the love of your life every day- every minute and to not be able to touch or to see him in that way that only you can.

It is undeniably horrible what love can do. And what racism can do.

Iv'e let myself go, a couple of times. That is what the fans- the so called Larry Shippers believed. Yes, they did not just wake up one day and believe in us. We gave them proof. We gave them hidden little things to believe in.

It's pathetic, the way Elounor shippers don't believe us. Seriously ma do you want Harry to say;

"Hi I'm Harry Styles and I stare at my best friend like he's Jesus and he sometimes whispers things into my mouth and we hold hands during twitcams and I look like a fucking miserable puppy when we aren't together and he tells me what to do and we live together but oH GOD NO WE AREN'T TOGETHER that's ridiculous"

But let me tell you something hun. You are ridiculous. The Elounor shippers I mean.

There is nothing worse than having someone you love close, yet, feeling as if they're so far from you and you just can't go there to them.

More than never, it's our feelings that make us beautiful. More than clothes, than hair color. Feelings. I forget that every time that I look in the mirror, and I owe myself so many apologies, and now that I look at my feet, oh my skinny feet I am reminded that after years and years of being displeased by myself, I've found somebody to do my task. Harry has loved me, and still loves me, for who I am. He loves me for my skinny feet which are covered by dirty converse. Harry loves me for the way that I sing so specially according to him. Harry loves me for the way that we look at each-other, for the way that I laugh, for the way that I do not complain about things. The list could go on forever. But my list is short. I love Harry for who he is. For everything he is.

It's been so hard and so painful forcing myself to stop thinking about him. But he's undeniably beautiful and irresistible. He's the only thought in my mind and It's time that I share that to the world.

-

The day is sunny, a little breezy but that's it. It's afternoon and Eleanor is out shopping with Sophia, Harry is with the band mates and I am home alone.

Opening Twitter, my fingers timidly compose a new tweet, announcing an unexpected twitcam.

Seeing that it is immediately favorited by more than a thousand profiles, I plug in my small camera, adjust the environment around the room a bit to make it look less messier and finally begin the online video.

"Hi guys. So. As you've been informed, I'm holding a twitcam. I can practially feel your enthusiasm because it's been literally centuries since Iv'e held one and for the sake of some fans who cannot watch this video, I am recording and saving it for them and for some proof reasons too," I begin saying. A small smile catches my lips and at the same time the front door opens and closes, signifying someone's home.

A head of curls is visible outside the room. Harry's feet quietly pad against the hard wooden floor and the way his lips move to begin a sentence make me hold a finger up to hush him.

He changes his shirt, and I continue with the twitcam.

"I am pretty sure that more than half of the fandom will take this news for good. I'm not sure about that other part, though, but I am wishing that they'll stay loyal and generous like they've promised." My eyes flicker between the terrified comments on the video and I immediately rush to tell.

"No no no the band is not breaking up! One Direction is as succesful as ever, I just have to clear up some things, to finally tell you what you've been asking yourselves and I for the past four years."

"So. It all started in that damned bathroom. X-factor times, gold times. Hell, if I hadn't told myself that I needed to pee, or if I hadn't gotten the courage to talk to that boy, I'd still be wondering around the world, trying to find the right person for me," I begin. I decide to not to control what comes out of my mouth, I just let the memories pour out by themselves.

Harry leans against the doorframe, smiling and proud and I take in the memory of how we met, just like it happened yesterday.

"We grew close to each-other. He'd understand me like no one else. I still wonder this day how he can read me like an open book, how we can tell how I feel as if he is inside my heart or brain.

Then the band was announced to be formed. I was more than happy to have those four lads as my colleagues. But I was particulary happy to spend more time with Him. At first, my mind was clouded, like- I couldn't comprehend what was happening to me. Why I would feel different around him or why my heart suddenly started racing fastly. God damnit I just wanted to know.

We grew even closer. The lads could tell that something was going on and finally, I'd understand it.

I'm gay. Not the faggoty gay (no offense) but the homosexual gender, I am attracted to males.

A year passed. 2011 kicked in and we'd have a contract with Modest!. They wouldn't want us together, so they gave me a girlfriend." I crack. I don't cry. I glance over at Harry who is now staring down at his feet at the memories and frowns.

"To be honest, Eleanor is my best friend. Though I do not love her as a soulmate. I'm sorry to everybody who believed in us but that's the truth.

Years passed by and I'd be even more flattered at the new level that racism had reached. Just, wow. It's unbeliavable guys. We'd have concerts, meets&greets and so on and I wouldn't be able to hug him or whatsoever because we we'ren't alouded.

But now I'm done. I am so done to everything that I don't care anymore. I don't care what management thinks, I don't care if I lose my job, I don't care if somebody gets hurt. I want to live my life the way Iv'e wanted to live it for so long and I'll do it. I'll make it real." I'm almost finished.

Harry walks over to the camera and we both smile.

"Larry Stylinson is real. More than ever. Thank you for believing in us." I end up saying and cup Harry's cheeks before kissing him. The kiss feels so magical. We can finally share this to the world.

Without fear. Without disgrace.

It's happening.

It's been so long.