Four Letter Word

Slow Motion

I've snoozed my alarm a good five times now. I should probably get up now right. I had such a long night, 30 more minutes won't hurt. Before I can fall into another deep sleep my phone pings rapidly from across the room. It's times like these I regret plugging it in so far from the bed. I roll to my side quickly and almost fall right of the bed. That was a close one. It's only 7:30 who could be calling so early. Before I can answer the ring comes to complete silence and I smack my forehead lightly. Great.

Unknown number: calling again. After the second trill I answer without a second thought.

"This is Mercy Front Foundations Hospital, is this Pia Wilson?" Why would the hospital be calling me, especially at this hour?

"Yes.. This is Pia, is everything okay?" What could it be, I don't think I missed any appointments or anything.

"There's been an accident we need you to come down to the hospital as soon as you can." An accident? Before I can stop myself I hang up the phone and rush to the hall.

"Mom?! Dad!?" Why aren't they answering, why wouldn't they be home at this time?
"Caleb?!" Why isn't anyone answering me. There's no way the call was about them. This is crazy. I pull my sweatpants on and a clean sweatshirt before running down the stairs. Keys. Before I make it to the door something catches my eye, a note.

Good morning Pia we ran out to get a few things for our trip, be back soon! xoxo -Mom

No. They're fine. This must be about something else, it has to be. I can't fight the tears falling down my cheeks as I start the car and pull of in a rush. When I get to the hospital I don't bother trying to park correctly and run right to the front doors. Why can't I go in? Am I scared of what happens the moment I do? Yes.

I feel as if I'm moving in slow motion. My feet are moving and I find myself at the front desk puffy eyes and all.

"Hi, how can I help you?" A young woman in dark purple scrubs smiles to me.

"Uhm.. I'm Pia Wilson. I got a call" I run my hands through my hair, I can't find my words, "A call. I got a call about an accident." I try to contain the shaking in my voice but it's not enough. The pity in her eyes is all the answer that I need. This is real. She stands slowly and guides me to the waiting area.

"Just.. wait here, I'll grab someone for you." Before she walks away I gently grab her arm.

"Please, just tell me they're okay.. I just really need you to tell me that because I can't be here if they're not okay." The tears are running down my face faster than they ever have before and I can't understand the pain I'm feeling in my chest.

She grips my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze, " Please wait here." She dismisses herself and within the next minute a tall doctor appears with his head down.

My chest is moving fast. Too fast. I feel like my heart might just crack, or even shatter and no one, not even these doctors will be able to save me. I don't know anything yet, maybe they are okay and I'm freaking out for no reason. Yeah that's it, they're okay.

"Pia, your family-" Everything fades out and all I can hear is ringing. His mouth is moving in slow motion, then again, nothing matters now. "I'm very sorry for your loss." His words break me. Every muscle in my body is straining and I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

"I- no, they're at the store" my words come out as sobs and I know he doesn't understand a single word. He reaches his arms out to embrace me and I quickly push him away, hard. Why did I do that? I have no one and no one will ever hug me. I'll never feel the touch of my own family again. I'll never hear my mom's beautiful voice when she sings every morning, or my dad's whistling that drove my brother absolutely insane.

I fall to the ground and the sobs grow louder and louder. This pain, hurts so much I feel numb. I'm gasping for air.