Queen of Hearts

Then: One

All of us are called special at least once in our lives. No matter if you're the 'loner goth girl who hides in the corner' or 'the popular Queen B with relationship problems' or just the average girl without any label, who lives just to live. Everyone is special to someone. 

So the first time a boy called me the love of his life, I wasn't surprised. I knew one day someone would say this to me. I shrugged it off and told him that I wasn't interested the way he was. He begged me to think about it, to be his girlfriend, but I said: "never in my life could I see myself happy with someone like you". A little harsh, but it was the truth. 

As I walked away, I couldn't stop myself from thinking about his sad eyes, and the way he sulked back to his friends to deliver the news. It was then that I felt guilty. I knew that it was my fault for his pain and his heartbreak. 

Looking back at those times, I wish I knew how to stop it. I wish I knew how to control it. I'd hurt so many people, not meaning to, not wanting to. Because even as nice and as cool as it sounds, getting your way does not make you happy. I thought I was for a while, but after you hurt hearts day after day, you realize some things, both good and bad. 

You realize that there is more to life than getting your way. You realize that forcing relationships to happen because you think it will make two people happy is cruel, even evil. But most importantly, you learn a thing or two about yourself, and you learn what, and who makes you truly happy.