HEELS: TALES FROM THE STRIP

In the early stages of my exotic dancing odyssey, my determination to network within the male stripping community was at an all-time high. Call it passion, or perhaps, just blind optimism, but I was under the assumption that becoming a real-life Magic Mike was achievable. Creating a social networking empire within the lucrative business of erotic entertainment was well within my grasp.

Down the road, the cold realization that life isn't always what you pan it out to be had slapped me hard across the face, on more than one occasion. The truth is that, while there's certainly money to be made in the art of striptease, I was not the man for the job, or maybe I just didn't have what it takes.

Regardless of the inevitable outcome, during my first year dancing, the easy money had landed me into meetings with numerous schemers, including a seedy strip club manager that went by the name of Nesko. After being linked up by a mutual friend, Nesko invited me down to Club Paradise, the extravagant Long Beach strip club he was the day manager of.

Over the phone, he briefly explained his idea for a revolutionary male revue, one that would take off like wildfire, setting the male stripping industry aflame. Being young, hungry, and impressionable, I yearned to hear more, and thus, drove myself down to Long Beach the following afternoon, anxious towards my meeting with the lewd, mysterious entrepreneur.

Before stepping foot into Club Paradise, my expectations for the place weren't very high, but when my eyes took hold of the salacious establishment, I was blown away by its colorful decor. Full-sized artificial palm trees lined the back wall, and the fluorescent purple and orange lighting within the club gave off a resemblance of a sunset, along the Long Beach Pier. The floor was a plush red carpet, and the stale, lingering stench of cigarettes, mixed with sweaty lust, hovered thickly in the air.

"Andy?" A large Samoan bodyguard questioned me as I made my down the center aisle.

"That's me," I responded.

"Nesko's in a meeting. He said for you to hang out here until he gets back."

I surveyed the terrain, before making my way over to a large, empty booth. Seeing as how it was three in the afternoon, the joint was pretty empty, minus a few truck drivers who were guzzling booze and chatting it up with the sexy bartender. The club's main dance floor had a stage that was lined by blinking neon lights, with a stripper pole in the middle of it, gleaming gold steel.

There was a busty, tattooed redhead on stage dancing to a Nine Inch Nails song. Her enthusiasm seemed low, not that I blamed her. Outside of the few crumpled one dollar bills that laid by her feet, the redhead was stripping for free. She stared longingly in the direction of the intoxicated truckers, but they were too busy pounding beers to notice her, and it didn't help that the bartender serving them was a lot cuter than she was. Oddly enough, the thing that drew my attention the most was that I noticed the men were being served in large glasses that resembled pink palm trees.

"What would you like to drink, Movie Star?" A waitress, wearing a Hawaiian luau skirt, asked as she approached me.

"Oh, I'm good for now, babe." Keep in mind that this meeting was taking place well before I ever got arrested for a DUI. Still, I made it a point not to get drunk in the middle of the afternoon, especially being so far from home.

"You sure? It's on the house. Compliments of the man in charge." She winked.

"In that case. I'll take a Bud Light." I was sold.

Nesko's meeting ran late, and forty minutes and three Bud Lights later, I was finally graced by his presence.

"Senior, Andy." A smooth-skinned, bald-headed man said to me with an East Coast vibe. Nesko looked to be over a dozen years my senior and reminded me of an Italian gangster, the kind you see in the movies. He was well manicured, smelled of coconut oil, and carried a nice tan. I'd later come to find out that he was actually of Persian descent, born in Lebanon. Nesko's family had relocated to Brooklyn when he was still an infant, but over the years, the man had literally lived all over the world.