Is it my fault? (Oneshot)

Is it my fault?

3rd person

Tears fell down  Harry's face as the memories of last week came flying back. He sighed wistfully wishing that he had never fallen for the stupid vision if he hadn't his loving godfather, his last caring relative would be alive and it was all his fault, with that he turned to the side falling asleep for a hopefully nightmare less night.

His eyes opened to see Sirius he reached out but as his hand met Sirius's face the  ghostly pale figure  disappeared just to reappear next to his bed, " Sirius?" He muttered. As he uttered the simple word the ghosty face of his godfather started talking in a  cold voice "it's all your fault if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be dead, I escaped Azkaban to live a happier life and what do you do get yourself in trouble and get me killed". With tears blinding Harry's eyes he tried to touch Sirius but his hand went through him and once again he had disappeared only this time he didn't reappear.

Harry's eyes flew open he wondered if it was all a Dream or the ghost of Sirius came to tell him that. he stood up shaking like a leaf grabbed his wand and glasses from the little side table and walked to the bathroom. After quickly shutting the door he cast a Tempus, and found that it was 2 Am he had only slept for two hours, all he knew was that there was no way he could go back to sleep. he silently sat against the door thinking over what he had dreamt, if Sirius himself had said that it was his fault it really must be. He closed his eyes willing the tears to disappear, but once one slipped out a stream of tears came pouring out. he held his knees to his chest as sobs escaped. Finally, after what felt like an hour he got up in search of tissues or really anything that could wipe his face with. he noticed a towel and went to go grab it as he picked it up and was about to wipe his face but then he noticed something that must have been under the towel. It was Seamus's razor, he picked it up knowing that if he started he wouldn't be able to quit it.

After 5 red cuts on his arms, the realization on what he has done kicked in, but oddly it hadn't hurt it felt good. He slipped the razor into the pocket of his cousin's huge hand me down pajama pants. He opened the door as quietly as he possibly could and slipped into his bed and spent the rest of the night thinking.

He heard Seamus and Deans voice and quietly got up.  he grabbed his uniform and quickly dressed and silently made his way to the great hall. For the rest of the morning and morning classes, he quietly did his work and avoided as much human contact as possible ( I do that all the time). lunch came and he sat down at the far end of the table and silently picked at his food. quite suddenly an envelope dropped onto his food, he quickly wiped the bits of food off the envelope and read the letter. It was from Dumbledore and requesting to meet with him after lunch. He quietly stood up and walked out of the halls and to the headmaster's office. He whispered the password "lemon sherbet" and walked in too what he hoped wasn't a long meeting．　

"Ahh, mister potter have a seat, let us talked about your summer plans" Dumbledore's eyes as all ways had a twinkle in them. Harry softly nodded to show he understood what he said. " so my boy, I have noticed that you seem very tired and sad because of what had happened last week, of course, no one blames you for that" Harry slowly nodded wondering what in Merlin's beard he was getting at. Dumbledore popped a lemon sherbet into his mouth and seeing Harry's eyes on him he very casually " ahh, would you like to have some?". He shook his head no and Dumbledore continued talking " With everything going on I have decided that you should stay at Remus's cottage this summer". Harry gave a small smile at the thought of not having to be with the Dursley's this summer. He will meet you at the station just like every student, have a nice summer my boy" Harry gave a small smile and quickly left to go ponder what he had been told.