All of Me (Gamzee x Bullied!Reader)

All Of Me

(Gamzee x Bullied! Reader)

Warning, this contains profanity, self inflicted harm, and attempted suicide. Viewer discretion is advised.

    You wished that you didn't have to go to this place every day. All you did was hope for the week to be over, only to come back the next. You wondered why you didn't just leave. Leave this world. It's not like anybody would care that you died. Hell, everybody would probably celebrate that you were dead and that they didn't have to live with your stupid self. You knew that you would if you were them.

    Somebody stopped you from progressing down the hallway. You refused to look up.

    "Hey, whore," they said. You still did not look up at her.

    "Excuse me, but I'm talking to you," she sneered. You shrugged.

    "You dyke! I'm talking to you!" she yelled, stomping her heeled foot. You looked up at the girl.

    "Finally. So, why haven't you dug yourself your six foot deep hole yet? You know you want to; everyone else wants you to, too." she laughed, the girls that stood behind her laughing, too.

    "Please leave me alone," you said, on the verge of crying. The girl laughed.

    "Or what? You'll go cry home to your mommy? Oh wait, she killed herself, too, so that she could get away from you!" the girl pointed at you. Your throat closed up and you couldn't talk. You fought to keep the tears in. What she said was true, your mom did kill herself so that she didn't have to deal with you. It made the girl's words that much more painful to bear.

    You walked around her before she could say anything. You heard her call you a very obscure name, but you continued on your way. You shoved yourself through the exit doors, into the school's courtyard. It was raining. Of course. The day you were walking home it had to start raining.

    You heard a boy call a name that sounded like yours, but from all the names you've been called, it was hard to actually know what your name was anymore. You heard it again.

    You turned, your hair already soaked. A boy wearing a hoodie and face paint walked up to you.

    "Hey, (f/n). Were those mother fuckin' girls causing you trouble?" he asked. Gosh, you didn't even know this boy. He was probably just trying to hurt you. You shook your head. "You sure?" he asked. You nodded. He looked around. Probably to make sure that nobody saw you with him.

    "Well, if you ever want to hang out, just give me a mother fuckin' ring, sis. I won't mind." he smiled at you and placed something in your hand. You looked at saw a number with a smiley face, a "honk", and the name Gamzee Makara. You looked at it confused. You didn't know why he gave you this. You shoved it into your pocket and continued to walk home.

    You lived a few miles away from the school itself, so when it started raining, it really ruined your plans to get home safe.

    Of course, you weren't really planning to go home safe. That was never your intention. And now that you were alone...

    You already had a plan.

    You looked down over the ledge, your legs swinging back and forth. You scrunched your (f/c) sleeves back to reveal scars and open razor cuts. Lots of them.

    You huffed as you pulled out your pencil sharpener from art class and a small screwdriver you always carried. The days that your abusive father wasn't home, you spent here, on the bridge, cutting yourself. He didn't care enough to ever check your wrists. After all, he blamed you for your mother's death. He was right to hate you.

    You sighed as your shaking hand cut into the once soft tissue of your wrist. You felt no remorse.

    You sat for a few minutes, carving different sizes of marks into your skin. Some deep, some shallow. Some long, some small. You didn't care. You knew that you were just procrastinating. You were unsure about what you were going to next, but earlier that day you decided that whatever you did, you would do this TODAY. There was no going back today.

    You screwed the small screw back into the pencil sharpener and placed both it and the screwdriver into your backpack. You shrugged off the backpack off and stood on the edge of the bridge. The rain had only gotten worse, but you didn't bother with that. You turned your head and saw someone in the distance.

    Your small body shook and trembled. You turned back to the running water underneath you.

    Gamzee's bigger form hugged you. Your tears melted into the rain, the only thing to signify that you were crying were the hiccups. Gamzee buried his face in the crook of your neck.

    "(f/n, what the fuck were you doing?" he whispered. You didn't want to answer. You really didn't.

    "(f/n, what were you doing?" he asked again, looking up at you. You could see scars that ran across his face. His makeup had been washed away.

    "G-getting r-ready to j-jump," you stuttered. It was a mixture of being cold and fear.

    "Why? Why were you doing this?" Gamzee whispered into your ear.

    "Because, they told me to. It's the truth. I'm not perfect. I'm ugly, stupid, pathetic, unneeded. Nobody needs me. I... I deserve to die," you cried, hugging the much bigger boy back. He tensed at your words. You were both silent for a moment before he spoke up.

    "That's not true, (f/n). You are amazing. You are perfect. You're beautiful, smart, and brave. I need you. I'm lost without you. (f/n), I'd follow you to the opposite ends of the world, I'd follow you to the top of the sky and to the bottom of the mother fucking ocean. I'd follow you to Heaven and Hell and back again. I need you more than I need anything. I'd give you all of me, if you'd give me all of you," he whispered to you. You cried harder at what he said. Was what he said true? It couldn't have been, no one would feel that way for you.... But somehow it felt like he was telling you everything that he felt. It felt safe.

    "R-really, Gamzee?" you asked. He nodded. You looked away, but you made up your mind. You took a deep breath and leaned forward. Gamzee was surprised for a second, but he melted. He wrapped his arms around your waist.

    "I love you, (f/n)," he whispered against your lips.

    "I love you Gamzee. Thank you for saving me. And forever I will give you all of me, if you give me all of you."