Beyond

Outcast

                       I feel so exhausted, my mind wouldn't let me find some peace, something wouldn't let me sleep and it does not let go it's like a force- an aura... I don;t know what is it and it's taking control of me. (BEEP) My thought were interrupted by the sound of my small clock from above my head. A deep sigh was all i could summed up, this has been happening after my mom died, it was weird and scary at the same time. Was she around me physically? was she causing this exhausting feeling? no...no... of course not. My mom wouldn't even let me stay late at night. As i got out of the bed, i could feel my weight ten time heavier, i feels so tired and sleepy. Hurriedly i prepared myself for school and maybe i should just grab some sandwiches on my way and wishing some soda could boost up my system.

Entering the school everyday... no i mean sometimes because sometimes I'm off to bed, (Sigh) School is a requirement to success and without it you'll be a lost dog like everyone treated it. No education is no human, doesn't deserve a single respect .That's it that's what it is right now. When i enter the school it was the most toxic feeling for me but i need this, maybe I'm the last person who likes this place. I tucked my hood avoiding someone's stares and judgments so i plunge in my ear plugs so I wouldn't hear anything. 

"Would you like to give me some of your attention Mr. Clark?" I hear Mrs. Peterson spoke in a high pitch tone. "Mr Clark?" she repeated. It caught my attention as she mentioned my name for the second time, my gaze from the outside turned to her. "I was listening" My voice was calm. "Okay then, what are we talking about?" she now, sounded mad. Her smile's fake and she looks like she's ready to humiliate me as she crossed her arms from side by side and from beneath those glasses I could see those furious eyes looking straightly to me. I let out a deep sigh and avoided all the stares that I've got. "Mrs. Peterson, i meant no disrespect, my eyes maybe outside but i'm listening to you. "Deep and calm was all i could hear from my voice. "That's why I'm asking you what are we talking about?" for a second i closed my eyes and sigh thinking this would go nowhere even if I'm going to humiliate her or myself. "Alright, I'm sorry for not listening to you Mrs Peterson" still my voice is steady and deep all i could hear was my tired voice. I watched her smirk but i would count it as smiling in victory "Remain after this class" Then she went back on talking about the theory of evolution. As the bell rung i waited all the student dispersed from the class and I checked if everyone already went out i got up and walked into Mrs. Peterson's desk, I watched the 30's looking stern woman who always look authoritarian and uncompromising person. "Mr. Clark" she arrange her glasses and looked at me. "You can't be like this forever, it's annoying that I'm now getting angry and annoyed at you at the same time. I can't feel jelly towards you forever, remember it's your decision and you've thought about going back here. It wasn't me who begged you to continue. Your attitude has been distracting everyone and this has been going on for a year since your mother died. You're even absent five times for two weeks! this can't keep on happening. You're a big man now Harry what would you want to say about this? you've been missing a lot of things and discussion" she removed her glasses and massage the temples of her head. "Mrs Peterson" i looked at her calmly, my eyes are about to give up and everything that's on my mind right now is i wanted to sleep. "My mother has nothing to do about this and I know I have everything that i needed, I don't need help" I sounded dead. "Harry, are you on your senses? you can't even recall what we have talked about" her brows turned confuse and annoyed. "Mrs. Peterson, not all the time you have to save yourself, not all the time you have to speak up for yourself. A good man talks less" I responded. "Don't you be a smart ass" she rolled her eyes. "I'll be putting you again on the football alley to clean up things there for a month, if you improve then you can go home early" she stood and carry all her books as she left. 

Helplessly I fall into my chair and sighed deeply.