Our Failures

Chapter 2: Realities

The first sensation I felt was the straps holding my arms and legs down. I tried opening my eyes to verify what my brain was telling me but all I saw was more black. Then a small ringing started before fading away into coherent voices. Yet, even as I knew they were people, I knew they were saying important things I still couldn't focus on them. I only knew that at least one was my mom, her voice was incredibly hard to forget but I had never heard it like this before.

Normally her voice can be considered soothing, melodic even but what I was hearing was pain. It was horrible to listen to her sob words out. I wanted, no needed to comfort her and so I started reaching out what little magic I had in me which felt substantially larger than usual and pressed it against hers. I made sure to be gentle, only pressing my magic against hers instead of covering it.

I thought I knew what she was feeling before but the rush of pure anguish in her was so much more fearsome then I had believed it could be. The worst part was that I now knew why she was so sad; it was because I wasn't likely to wake up, never to eat a single of her meals or listen to another of the stories of her glory days. I found out that I had accidentally done a dangerous spell against Sarapeth and she had reacted in kind, nearly ripping my magic away from me completely before she realized that I hadn't meant to do it.

It was her that had inadvertently triggered a very violent flare in me, one that not only nearly killed her but also sprung back and hit me. I also realized that the reason I was strapped down wasn't because of me myself but rather to ensure I couldn't move and mess with the IV's in the small chance of me waking up. I thought it was a stupid fear considering I couldn't move a muscle even if I wanted, my body was just so damn tired.

I had been so focused on comforting my mom with my magic I hadn't remembered that she would be able to notice my magic, so when I suddenly felt a wave of hope crash over me I wasn't prepared. It made my heart skip a few beats, which was bad because the heart monitor registered that as death before settling down.

I stopped focusing on her and instead tried to focus on what was being said, it took a minute, at least I think it was a minute before I could make out words. They were too easily forgotten for me to tell you what they were but I did hear one line my mom said, well more like a part of one.

"I... you didn't I? He... leave us... too strong... that," I didn't understand it all but I could hear that soothing quality coming back to her and I knew that must be a good thing.

A hand rested against my forearm, squeezing in what I assume was meant to be reassuring, then the covering on my head began to shift letting in a small amount of light that was blinding nonetheless. Once the covering was fully removed I tried and failed, to keep my eyes open. They tried to coax me to open my eyes but I refused, that light was devilish even from behind my eyelids. Then as though they heard my inner thoughts they turned off the lights in the room and I could finally lookout in the world. My mom was standing beside me, holding my arm in her grip. She was beautiful, probably why dad fell in love with her, at least if he hadn't fallen in love with her personality. My mom was taller than average but not by much and her hair was a long waterfall of dirty blond with eyes the color of sparkling rubies. Red eyes are not as uncommon as they once were since they had become the subject of many forced marriages in the past. My mom was actually born from one of them, her mom and dad taking their lives right after each other. Her mom killed herself in a rage at the marriage and unwanted daughter, while her dad drank cyanide because of the failed marriage because even if grandma hadn't loved him, he had loved her. Mom wasn't actually that powerful, even though both her parents were she only had a small amount of innate magic, far smaller than mine now or before and tiny compared to dads.