Could'ves

y

Chantal: 'Wag ka nang magdala ng box. I made you one :)

I pocketed my phone after reading Chantal's text message. Anim na buwan na ang nakalipas mula noong nilisan ko ang opisinang 'to. Nostalgia swallowed my system.

"Uwi muna si Ilon, Icy!" Drew announced, not minding how distracting his deep voice was.

Biting my chipped painted nails, I walked hurriedly toward Kuya Ilon. A teasing smirk's etched on his stubbled face. His lips moved, uttered words that caused Allie to turn and watched me neared them.

Kuya Ilon's not a best friend material, but he knows a secret I buried in my heart. I smiled and wrapped my arms on his waist. "Thank you, kuya."

"Sarap naman mag-resign." Pabirong sinuntok ni Rix ang braso ni Allie. He jests this way, but he still keeps his distance. My eyes, being so stubborn, looked at his arm then wandered on his body. Nagising ako mula sa panunuri nang pitikin ni kuya Ilon ang tainga ko. Kumindat lang siya nang mapatingin ako sa kanya.

It took me four years to realize that I Iove Raiel, my boyfriend for almost three years now. But it took me only a month to fall for Allie. It was crazy, I was crazy. Nakakatawa na pinu-problema ko ang isang maliit na bagay na 'to. I tried to weigh these two different things.

Raiel and I were college buddies. Four years after, we decided to take our relationship into a different level. After graduation, we had this mutual decision to become a couple. Akala ko, ang pagiging masaya at kuntento ay ang dalawang natatanging simbolo ng tunay na pagmamahal.

I didn't know how hard life could smack reality into somebody's head. Hindi ko naranasan ang paghirapan ng sobra ang isang bagay. Probably because my parents showered me the world's goodness. I was raised like a princess. And the best thing was, it didn't turn me into an annoying brat. Hurrah for that!

A year after I graduated in college, I found a not so perfect job for me. Doon nagsimula ang lahat. This company's out of my standard, so as the people and environment. This is not what I pictured out a year ago. Ngunit wala naman sigurong masasayang kung susubukan? After all, every decision comes with a lesson. Tama o maling desisyon man 'yan.

I was like a clean canvas that needed a drop of dirt. A decision has been made. I blended in. I learned that I shouldn't perfect the imperfections of my surrounding. From then on, I realized I'm the dirt and this company is the canvas, full of colors. And as I was learning, I fell for someone I shouldn't have fallen for in the first place.

"Si Allie!"

Alexandré Juan del Viejo, he's the One. My One.

"Anong ako? Bruhang 'to." He slightly smacked Chantal's shoulder.

"Sa bahay mo, tanga! Try mo namang dumihan 'yon."

"Hindi ako nagdadala ng babae roon!"

One of the countless things I love about him, including those unexplained, is his being like this. I love how he could effortlessly throw lines and brighten up my day.

Last day ngayon ni kuya Ilon. Naghahanap sila ng walwal venue. I haven't been to Allie's crib. I think tonight's the right time for the gang to spend the night in his place. And I deducted myself from the plan.

Hindi na ako inusisa pa ni kuya Ilon kung bakit hindi ako sasama. He knew so well. I just needed to make an alibi when Rix insisted that I must come with her.

Rix's my best friend from the day I felt I was an outcast in this company 'til I gained confidence to blend in. Kaya ako naguguluhan ngayon. Paano ko sasabihing in love ako sa pinsan niyang si Allie? Would she react in a best friend way? Or Allie's cousin way?