Ask me to give up - MeanXPlan AU

Chapter - 6

Notes:

This chapter is long. Almost 9K. It's the last chapter, so... bear with me.

Thank you. x

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The whole café stared back at them when Plan shoved Mean away, getting up on his feet.

They blinked at each other. Mean's eyes wide and fearful and Plan's vision clouding with fury and confusion. His thigh, where the hot chocolate was splattered, burned. The pain was good somehow, grounding. Plan could do with a known feeling, the sting of it but he could not deal with the chaos that was his heart at that moment. He never dealt well with confusion, it bothered him when he did not know what he was feeling with clarity.

At that moment, all Plan felt was emotions unbeknown to him. The tingling of his lips as he could still feel Mean's lips on his, the flutter in his stomach when he recalled it. The fear that everyone saw them like that. The denial that he was not supposed to like it. What scared the shit out of him was that he wanted it, he liked it as Mean had kissed him. It was not supposed to happen. He was not into boys. Never. It was not possible.

"Pl-Plan?" Mean whispered, reaching out tentatively.

Plan shook his head, stepping away, "don't. Don't you dare fucking touch me," his voice was rising, hysteric, as he flared his limbs, "I am not like this. I am not you. I hate this. I can't. I tried but I can't do this. Don't... don't press it."

When Mean recoiled as if he was slapped across his face, Plan flew. The vision of those hurt eyes was too painful.

He rushed away from the scene, yes, it was a scene by then. Everyone was staring at them.

The way back to the hotel was a blur to him. He wavered through the mass with his head hung low, ashamed that one might see right through him and know that he had kissed a boy, romantically.

No.

As he closed the door of the room behind him, Plan's eyes closed with frustration. They were back to square one. He hated that but he would not do anything about it this time. He could not. There was nothing that could make him stay in that trial bullshit.

Enough was enough.

There was a knock on his door and Plan knew. He knew it was Mean. He shook his head, he was not ready to see that boy's face yet. He might never be ready. Everything was going too fast for his liking. He had to breathe, stop for a minute, and Mean was anything but slow. He was everything that was rushed, quick and speedy. He was everything that made Plan feel dizzy. Plan could not do it anymore.

"P'Plan? Are you there?"

Plan jolted. It was Perth. He shook his head and opened the door. Perth stood there, huffing. When the door opened, Perth frowned, taking in Plan's expression.

"You look thunderstruck," Perth said, "everything's alright?"

Plan nodded, trying to smile at the boy in front of him.

Perth gestured towards the hall, "everyone is waiting. The fan-meet is about to start. Let's go. You need to dress up."

Plan gulped back the frustrated scream that was trying to tear through his throat. He had to face Mean now. The fear and hesitance were making him anxious.

"Everyone?" he asked, "Mean... where is he?"

Perth frowned, "downstairs. Getting ready. Why?"

Plan shook his head. So Mean was there already. The boy had not followed Plan back to his room. That made Plan breathe a little bit easier. Mean finally got the message, he hoped.