I've had more than enough alone time with my thoughts. I took time to get to know myself and whats really wrong with me. I still can't bring myself to admit certain things in theraphy. It's like theres a big brick wall blocking me from reality. My mind is a prison and a terrible place to be. I just wish I could be normal. My first step to recovery is admitting those certain things that are hard for me to admit. I'm aware that I'm in denial and for 2 years I didn't notice it, but the thing is... I don't know what I'm in denial about. But I know it's something. Maybe it's right in front of my face, maybe it's hiding from me and making me feel more insane then I already do. I already know that I hurt those who love me and push people away, I have a temper and I have a broken heart, I'm vulnerable to the point where I let myself get hurt and laugh about it like it's nothing. But it is something...
It's like a puzzle. First I need to find the rest of the peices, then I need to put it all together, and then I'll be on the road to feeling... normal. But it's not that easy. This could take years and years and years. It's like a game I'll never be able to get out of. I'm trapped. God, please help me.
