IS2G

IS2G {3}

W A I T I N G

NASH'S POV

~ My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all, the morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could, it would all be grey, but your picture on my wall, and it reminds me- that it's not so bad; it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Dear Xav, I wrote but you still ain't callin', I left my cell, my pager and my home phone at the bottom. I sent two letters back in Autumn but you must not-a got 'em, there probably was a problem at the post office or something. Sometimes I scribble addresses to sloppy when I jot them, but anyways; Fuck it. What's been up? How's your lover?..... I read about your uncle Ronnie too and I'm sorry, I had a friend kill himself over some bitch that didn't want him...Anyways, I hope you get this man, just to chat, hit me back, truly yours- This is Nash.

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all, the morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could, it would all be grey, but your picture on my wall, and it reminds me- that it's not so bad; it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Dear Xav,You still haven't called or wrote, I hope you have a chance. I'm not mad, I just think it's fucked up you don't answer your biggest fan. If you didn't want to talk to me outside your "concert", you didn't have to but you could of signed an autograph for Matthew. That's my little "Brother" man, he's only six years old. We waited in the blistering cold for you, for like four hours and you just said no. That's pretty shitty man, you were his fucking idol. He wants to be just like you man, he likes you more than I do. I ain't that mad though, I just don't like being lied to. Remember when we met in Denver? You said if i'd write to you, you'd write back. See, I'm just like you in a way- I never knew my father either, he always used to cheat on my mom and beat her. I can relate to what you said in our calls; so when I have a shitty day I drift away and put 'em on. 'Cause I don't really got shit else so that helps when I'm depressed, I almost got a tattoo of your name across my chest. Sometimes I even cut myself to see how much it bleeds, it's like adrenaline; the pain is a sudden rush for me. See everything you said was real, and I respect you 'cause you tell it. My best-friend's jealous because I talk about you 24/7. But he don't know you like I know you Xav, no-one does! He don't know what it was like growing up for people like us... You gotta call me Xav, I'll be the biggest fan you'll ever lose,Sincerely yours,NashP.S: We should see each other soon.

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all, the morning rain clouds up my window, and I can't see at all. And even if I could, it would all be grey, but your picture on my wall, and it reminds me- that it's not so bad; it's not so bad, it's not so bad...

Dear Mister "I'm too good to call or write my loved ones"This'll be the last package I ever send your ass. It's been six months and still no word. I don't deserve it? I know you got my last two letters, I wrote the addresses on 'em perfect. So this is my cassette I'm sending you, I hope you hear it. I'm in the car right now, doing 90 on the freeway. Hey Xavier, I drank a fifth of Vodka, you dare me to drive? You know the song by Phil Collins 'In the air of Night', about that guy who could'a saved that other guy from drowning, but didn't, and Phil saw it all, then at a show he found him? That's kinda how this is, you could'a rescued me from drowning. Now it's too late, I'm on a 1000 downers, now I'm drowsy. And all I wanted was a lousy letter or a call. I hope you know I ripped all of our pictures off of the wall. I love you Xav, we could have been together, think about it. You ruined it now, I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. And when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream about it. I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't breathe without me! See Xav, Shut up Bitch, I'm try'na talk! That's my heart screaming in my trunk of a chest. I didn't split her in half, I only tied her up. See, I'm not like you. 'Cause if it suffocates it'll suffer more and then it'll die too! Well, gotta go. I'm almost at the bridge now. Oh shit, I forgot. How am I supposed to send this shit out?---