*ATTENTION!!!* READ GANGSTA LOVIN', THEN IF YOU LOVE ME, THEN THIS ONE. THIS IS A TRILOGY, SO PLEASE READ IN ORDER!!!!
When things get rough will you give up? Or will you fight?
Things for Michael and Semaj have not always been smooth sailing...
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Jason "Jay" Lewis
(P.S. We know Bey got a thing for niggas with a big nose and lips. P.S.S. So do I SKSKSKS). ALSO. DONT NOBODY DRAG ME, PERIOD.
*** Now if you wanna go Baby, then I'll let you go And even though I'm tryin' to hold on I can't if you don't ***
Semaj's POV
Jay was taking me to an upscale night club that was known for their food, wine, and jazz music. I didn't plan on drinking more than half a glass of red, but after the casual jazz club he'd taken me to a few days ago, I was definitely up to hearing more of the music. I didn't realize how good that genre of music truly was nor did I ever care to pay attention until now.
And maybe I liked it more because it got me out of the house and stopped me from thinking about Michael. When I was alone for too long a time then he was all that would come to mind and the last thing I needed was to be wondering what he was doing and who he was with. Especially, since I had yet to decide on a course of action for my marriage that was currently cycling on pause.
I just didn't know what I wanted, but then again, I didn't allow myself to think about it long enough to figure it out. All I knew was that I loved Michael, but wit that love came a lot of pain and betrayal. From the both of us.
Somewhere down the way we went wrong. We used to talk about anything that was bothering us, but after losing Summer I suppose we started walking down different paths and not expressing our differences as we should've.
I was selfish. I'm not going to say that I wasn't, but still that gave him no right to cheat and with someone so close like Cam. Even so I could've dealt with an infidelity, but a baby that belonged to another woman? I would look at the child and be constantly reminded of Michael and Camry's one-night stand and that's not something I envisioned remembering for the rest of my life.
Often times people misunderstood that when you created life with someone that was a bond that you had to uphold for forever... not just eighteen years.
And no matter what Michael wanted his family and turning his back on Camry especially knowing that the baby was his-I knew-was just not going to happen. He wasn't that type of man especially since Joseph had walked out of his life when he was younger. It was one of the things, his love for kids, that made me fall deeper in love with him in the first place.
The way he acted with Simone when we first met, Janet, Samia, and then with Summer and she hadn't even been born yet.
I had robbed him of his chance to be a father though and to my dismay Camry was giving him exactly what he so wanted. A child.
So, no. I didn't want to think about the marital problems that weighed a ton on my shoulders. I didn't want to make any decisions. I wanted to give myself a little more time to block out the world before I had to face it. I deserved at least that.
