Bride of Kalathan

13: News

In the morning there was a message instructing her to pack her things, and a palace carriage waiting to take her away. She explained briefly to a shocked Hellis and Rushta, who looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

"The king?" asked Hellis, her hair wild around her face as she sat in her robe on her bed, watching Nuria pack. "All this time, you have been meeting the king?"

She nodded, tears streaming from her eyes. "I was such a fool," she said, folding her dresses into her bags. She had barely slept the night before, her mind swimming with conflicting thoughts, her heart aching in her chest, her head pounding from the effort of not crying so she would not keep Hellis and Rushta awake.

"So he wanted you to marry him, and then discovered you had once almost courted a devilclaw," said Rushta, as if saying it would make it more believable.

Nurai nodded, placing her jewellery box carefully on top of her dresses. She left the heavy ring on the table by the mirror.

"You poor thing," said Hellis, shaking her head. "But perhaps he just needs some time, and he will forgive you. Perhaps in a few weeks he will be calling you back."

"No," said Nuria, standing up. "It was all a mistake. He isn't who I thought he was. And how could anyone ever really love a king anyway? It would just be ... too hard." She embraced her friends and followed the servant out into the blustery cold to the stables, where the horses and carriage were waiting.

They had been on the road barely an hour when she heard something outside. She had been dozing, leaning against the side of the carriage wrapped in her furs, trying to think about seeing her family and not about what might have happened to Shandar and his family. The driver was shouting something into the wind, and then the carriage was stopping and she heard him jump down.

The door opened. "Why have we stopped?' she asked, dreading the answer. Perhaps the road was blocked or too muddy to continue. She had a day and a half of travel ahead of her if things went well, and the thought of a delay made her want to weep with frustration.

"It's the king and some of his men, lady," said the driver, his face barely visible under his wraps. Over his shoulder she could see them now, a group of horses and riders, one tall horse shaking its mane as Theoland dismounted and strode over to the carriage. The driver bowed and stepped aside, and then he was at the door.

"Nuria," he said, breathing hard, pulling off his fur cap. "Please."

"I want to go home, Theoland," she said. The wind whipped at his hair and his cheeks were flushed red from his cold ride, but she would not invite him into the carriage. She had imagined, during her restless night, that he might regret what he had done and said. She did not think that the man she had come to know over the weeks before was gone, only that she had seen another side of him that she did not like. She wondered for a second, as he waited for her to answer, if she might give in, if she could be weak and forgive it all. But then she thought of Shandar, that he would suffer because of her, and knew she could not.

"I should not have spoken to you like that," he said, his hand clutching the side of the carriage. "I am so sorry. Please, Nuria, please forgive me and come back. I didn't mean it. I don't want you to leave."

"You wanted it enough to order the carriage and make sure I was on it."

He shook his head, unable to answer. There was regret there, she knew, but it was too late.

"You scared me last night," she said. "I barely recognised you."

"I know. Please try to understand, Nuria, it's just devilclaws ... I must be harsh on these things. The Temple demands it and I have no choice. I cannot rule Kalathan without God's favour and I will not have that if I do not resist the devil. To accommodate devilclaws would be to anger the fatirs and the people too – please try to understand that. And your reputation, it has to be ..."

"Perfect?" she interrupted.

"Yes," he said, earnestly. "You must understand - my wife will be the mother of kings. There cannot be any blots on her character. There cannot be any reason for anyone to doubt her purity and devotion to the Temple. And if it got out that you were linked to a devilclaw..."

"It doesn't matter anymore," she interrupted. "Now you can find someone who really is perfect, because on this matter I don't think the Scriptures can be right. I can't believe Shandar and his mother are cursed by the devil."

"But I must believe it," he said, his voice faltering. "I cannot change that, even for you." She saw, to her surprise, through her own tears, that there were tears in his eyes too. She had hurt him, and although she was angry and hurt herself, although she was confident in her innocence, she understood some of what he was feeling. If she had not known Shandar all her life she might not understand that he could not be cursed.

"You are a hypocrite, Theoland," she said. "It was all right to drink arak and tangle yourself up with women, but it's not all right to judge someone on character rather than an old belief?"

"I am willing to overlook what you did," he said. "I love you. I don't want anyone else."

"You love me?" She could not hold her tears back any longer. "You insulted me and threw me out of the palace. That isn't love."

"I am asking you to forgive me, Nuria," he said. "I am asking if you can still love me."

"I never said that I did at all," she said. "Please, let me go home."

"No," he said, his brow furrowing. "I want you to come back with me."

"Are you ordering me to come back?" she asked. "Is that what you want?"

He shook his head slowly. "No. I want you to come back because you choose to."

"I don't, Theoland," she said, trying to sound confident, knowing she was failing miserably. "It's just too hard. You have no choice, but I do. I don't want to marry you any more."

There was silence for a while, the stamping of the horses and the howling of the wind the only sounds. She watched his face as he took a deep breath, then stood back.

"Drive on," he said, turning to the driver who stood at a respectful distance. "Take her home."

The driver stepped forward to close the door, and she watched through the small glass window as he bowed to the king and climbed back onto the carriage, lifted the reins and drove on, leaving Theoland standing alone on the road, his fur cap in his hand.