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"So, have you found another job Mr Goulbourne?" He nodded. Her eyes widen, absolutely surprised. He smirked at her expression, rubbing his chin.
"My first day is tomorrow, and I'm quite hyped for it." He said smiling softly. She nodded, still a little stunned. "Well try not to get fired" She laughed.
Stokeley stared at her blankly, then they both shared a laugh. Last night, him and Jahseh scanned round for jobs for long hours. Stokeley found himself being very unhappy when he's not getting up to something.
It annoyed him when he couldn't find something to do, he hated being bored. This was some of the reason why he got into trouble a lot, and a bunch of other things.
"What are you working as?" Ms Kardelle asked. "A cashier at a small ass store. So small that they only have two employees." It was only a small fast food place, it isn't even something that him and Jahseh would rob.
It's that small. He only wanted to keep productive, whilst still doing bad things. He didn't care.
"Okay. Who do you stay with Stokeley?" He dropped in his chair, reaching for his apple juice, sucking on it like a little kid.
"Jahseh." He responded. She squinted at him, tilting her head. "I used to live with my uncle." He rolled his eyes, not wanting to talk about him. He knew it was going to happen anyway, he best get prepared for it.
"What's your relationship with you Uncle like?" He altered in his chair, resting his head in his hand. "Uncomfortable." He said. Back at it again, she wrote. "What makes your bond uncomfortable?"
He shook his head, getting hot. He grabbed a random piece of paper on Ms Kardelle's desk, fanning himself. "He-" he paused, putting his hand up his shirt to catch some air. She inked on his body language, making her want to dig deeper. "He what Goulbourne?"
His leg bounced, as he saw it all again. "He touched me." He said, with a shake in his voice. She scribbled, "How old were you?" She questioned. He clawed at the arms of the chair, as Ms Kardelle took note of his reactions.
"11-12" He spoke, unsure. His breathing hitched, "I'm scared Ms Kardelle, he's scaring me." He whelped. "How'd he scare you? What did he do?" His scrapping became more combative, as his chest tenaciously clenched.
"He's holding me, he's hurting me bro." He complained. Stokeley gritted his teeth, holding back his tears. He didn't want to cry because of this, it wasn't worth his sanity.
Seeing that same blue polo shirt above him, the pain he felt, the loud cries, and screams for help. He didn't want to look back, but he was watching it all happen. As if he was placed in that room, as a second party.
He could've saved himself, he had to. But of course, he was too weak to. He wasn't strong enough.
"How are you feeling as that 11 year old, Mr Goulbourne." Stokeley sighed, feeling defeated. "Like a pussy, a little bitch." He belaboured.
He watched it all. When he got done, he stood up, and left Stokeley in a bundle of uselessness. Once again, this was all Stokeley's fault.
He saw his younger self watch his uncle, as screams of agony left his lips. It was like a pointless reason to hurt someone. Your own nephew, but of course he didn't give a fuck.
He missed his mother, he wanted her to hold him at this weak time.
Stokeley lost himself in his own thoughts. His very own nightmares. He's never said anything about it, and thought he never would. It would be their little secret. He promised to keep it locked in forever.
He was scared his dead Uncle Rob would haunt him. "What makes you think he'll haunt you Stokeley?" Stokeley laughed, out loud. "I killed him." He smiled.
He chuckled, seeing the scene all over again. "I grabbed the knife, as he sat at the couch watching tv. I stabbed him..over and...over again." He grinned, gesturing his actions as tears fell down his eyes.
He still remained fixated on air, looking through what he saw as his horror. "How ol-" "14." He stared at it like it was his own movie, his suffering brought him feeling. All he wanted was feeling. Ms Kardelle continued to write.
He heard the sounds the knife made, as it inserted and withdrew from his uncles intestines. Stokeley remembered the burning anger, and sadness of what he was doing.
He felt like he was sent to do it, something told him. His Uncle made him feel weak, and now it was Stokeley's turn to show his uncle what weakness felt like.
"I remember the pool of blood that leaked out his body. The emptiness in his eyes. I remember it all." He spoke. "What do you call what you did, Goulbourne?"
Stokeley slowly looked at her, tears built up in his eyes. "I call it my tribulation, my punching bag, my let out." He took a long pause "But most importantly, my vengeance."
Ms Kardelle eyeballed her client in complete shock. She had everything written down, but his experience and expression sent chills down her spine. She named this page his vengeance.
"Stokeley" she called, realising he was panicking. "Stokeley- oh my god" He screamed on top of his lungs, dropping out of his chair. "Jahseh!" She yelled, having Jahseh immediately barge into their room.
Jahseh panted in worry, grabbing Stokeley putting him on his lap. Stokeley continued acting franticlly, trying to ground himself. But he couldn't, his monsters were eating him alive.
"It's okay Stoke I got you." Jahseh soothed, rocking him back and forth. "Chill, we going home soon." Stokeley's nerves calmed down, now only tears.
He laid in Jahseh's lap, crying. He felt something climb up from his stomach, running through his throat.
He got up and ran to the bin, emptying out all that he had eaten. Sinking down, he sat and remained quiet. Jahseh sat, watching his best friend calm down from his sudden panic attack.
All Stokeley needed was a blunt, and Jahseh knew. He'd get one soon, but he just wanted to make sure that Stokeley was okay.
Ms Kardelle entered her room, after hearing that the commotion had stopped. Jahseh shot up, pissed. "Fuck did you do to my friend? He's not supposed to act like this!" He yelled.
She backed up, "Stokeley suffers from so much trauma. This is normal Mr Onfroy. This was only the stress of what happened to him, building up after fail of opening up fully. He hasn't touched on the subject ever since it happened, and him talking about it caused him panic. This is normal."
Jahseh breathed in, "I pay you to help Stoke. You know whatchu gotta do ma." And with that, Jahseh grabbed Stokeley and they left.
