Jump.

1

Shirabu would be sat on the ledge of a hospital roof, watching as the sun set behind the horizon. He found it oddly symbolic; he couldnt help but compare the setting sun to his decent into what lead him to this point. Of course he hadnt been diagnosed with anything because what was the point? it would only give his peers and family more reason to see him as a disappointment. 

As shirabu watches the sky lose more and more light as the wind ruffled his hair, messing it up slightly. The sensation took him back to a time where he was just a simple minded child, too naive for his own good. The nostalgia of feeling the blissful ignorance he felt as a child tried to resurface, giving the 27 year old a taste of what it was like to not worry about anything. The sensation still felt insignificant, as though someone had put a drop of ink into a black ocean, watching for a second as the ink dispersed before being engulfed by the darkness again.

Growing up he felt like he was drowning in his older sister's shadow, constantly being compared to her, always being asked why he had to play volleyball instead of participating in the literature club like his sister had. He wasn't as social as everyone else either, preferring to keep to himself as he alternated between his studies and volleyball.

Kenjiro remembered when he was 7; It was the first time he'd heard his parents yelling at eachother from in the living room, he was scared at the time- not quite understanding why they were fighting so much. He was 9 when he heard his parents fight over him, not understanding what he did wrong for either patent to be this upset with the other. Eventually when his parents decided to finally get a divorce neither of them really cared who he stayed with so he ended up living with his mother. She hated him so much, probably because he looked like his dad and was nothing like his sister, he didn't understand why she hated him for those qualities until a few years later.

Shirabu would release a sigh as he silently reflected, hoping that no one would come up to the roof while he was there. The male just wanted to watch the sunset and then be done with it, he doubted that anyone would care much anyway which is why he hadn't bothered with any suicide notes for people. He had considered writing a few for people he cared about but what purpose would that serve other than just reminding people of his actions?

Shaking the thought from his head shirabu would slowly stand on the ledge of the building, swaying slightly due to the strong gusts of wind. Shifting his weight from one foot to another he'd pray to whatever god was possibly out there that this fall would be enough to kill him. As he took a deep breathe he'd take the time to speak. "I'm sorry I caused everyone so much pain. I hope you can forgive me" was all he'd say. It was directed at everyone he'd interacted with, feeling genuinely bad for being such an asshole to the people who tried to help him.

Turning around so he wouldn't have to look at the drop, he'd stare at the doorway leading to the stairwell before leaning back, simultaneously taking a step to make sure that he couldn't turn back.

Feeling the adrenaline pump through his veins as he fell provided him with a rush. A part of shirabu wished he hadn't stepped off but it was too late now, he was plummeting towards the ground and yet all he'd think about was the way his hair slapped against his face repeatedly as the air rushed around him. A few tears had rolled down his face during the time he was falling although he couldn't bring himself to care.

There was a sickening crunch as his body hit the sidewalk, pain blossoming throughout every inch of his body. He could hear the screams and gasps of the people around him but that was soon blocked out by his vision and hearing blurring. Soon enough shirabus senses shut off completely. Is this what being dead is like? Was the last thing that went through his head.

A few weeks later people were gathered at kenjiros funeral. His parents were fake crying, doing their best to keep up the appearance of caring parents while a few members of the volleyball team questioned why shirabu had jumped. Taichi and a few others had shed some tears at the end of the service before finally departing to go back home. Semi was the only one who stayed after the service, speaking to shirabus grave as though the younger male was still alive. He'd been questioning if it was his fault. Was he not a good enough friend? He thought shirabu was alright.. How didn't he see what was actually going on?

A million and one thoughts kept running through semis head but the most prominent one was 'I'll miss you'.