Let's Dance the Night away | Dahmo

AUTHOR'S NOTE

I was going to write a chapter, but I didn't find anything to write.

The person who I talked about in my previous chapter of this book passed away yesterday morning.

They were only 15 years old.

Isn't that unfair?

I feel annoyed at myself because I didn't cry when I heard the news. I suppose it's because I don't really know them.

It was horrible. Really horrible. 

We found out a school. The teachers got called away for some sort of 'emergency meeting'. There was talk of them crying. We were all expecting the worst as we had known that this person had been struggling for a long time with stage 4 lung cancer. 

When our principle came to tell us, she was barely able to get the words out though her tears. One by one, my class found themselves in a mess. The classmate next to me covered her face with her hands, pressing her fingers into her eyes to try to stop the tears from falling. 

All I could hear were sobs and sniffles and shallow breathing. 

I go to a religious school, so we pulled together an impromptu Catholic mass for the girl who died. 

I usually hate mass as I'm not a religious person and I find it really boring. But usually there are things that help me to get through the 45 minutes of it all without getting entirely bored.

There are usually songs and hymns to be sung at specific times during the mass. I could sing along and pass some time, somewhat joyfully, listening to the horrible singing of my high school as we celebrate something I didn't believe in.

This mass was different. Silent apart from the sounds of crying. Everyone was crying. The girls in year 10, the class that the girl was from were sobbing audibly and uncontrollably. Even the priest shed a few tears.

I will never forget that mass. The mass with no music. 

Now all our focus will be on the girl's family. They have no money since her mother was always with her in the hospital and her dad had to leave his job to look after her siblings.

The dumb thing is, as Year 12s, my class has to do several fundraisers for the school as our final gift. Why can't we give that money to that girl's family? Why the hell does the school need any more money? Who gives a crap about a school, when someone has lost their life?

It's funny to see the teachers cry when you think of that. Put off some fundraisers, do your religious charity work and give something to those who need it. Yes, the school probably needs the money in the long run, but right now? They don't need shit.

Anyway, the point is, I'm mad at the school for being selfish and I'm mad at myself for not feeling anything about someone's death.

I hate that I can cry when a book character or movie character dies, but when someone real dies, not a tear is shed. My eyes are dry and I feel absolutely nothing. I used to pride myself in my level of sympathy and empathy. I guess I suck at that too.

I'm just glad that she was surrounded by the people she loved as she passed.

I'm glad she and her family believed in God, so that she's in a better place now.

You don't need to suffer anymore. You have a lot of people who care about you, and I'm sorry I wasn't one of them. They all miss you dearly. You won't be forgotten.