pizza | minsung

01

jisung was a smart boy. everybody knew that. he topped his class every single time and that's why the teachers grew a liking to him. he was cute and lively too and it's a fact. hence why almost the whole school population fell for jisung's bubbly personality, his marshmallow cheeks, his cute smile and accompanied by his eyes always overflowing with excitement and happiness. jisung as they said, "is as bright as the sun who can't be touched", "is someone so close yet so far" and of course, a squirrel. combine all cute and happy things that exists, and there you have jisung. but that was all in high school

jisung in his high school years and jisung in his college years are two different people. too different that you wouldn't imagine that the jisung now was once that happy bright kid everyone liked. too different that you wouldn't believe that the jisung you are seeing now, always had a huge happy grin on his face in the past.

the present jisung was the typical emo kid - still smart - who you would usually see sitting on the back of the class, where no one bothers sitting except those weird creeps who jerks off to some porn hidden behind the thick textbooks.

after jisung graduated high school with flying colors, he was supposed to fly overseas for an interview his dream university is holding to all the students who had passed their entrance examination and jisung is one of the lucky ones.

the result of the entrance exam was out about 6 months before his graduation and since he passed and knowing he had to go to his dream university for the interview, he took part time jobs to save up for the awaited trip since his parents refused to pay the trip for him because in their words, "useless and costly and you, my son, is too dumb to survive in a foreign country" and this shows that despite how jisung excels in school, his parents still see him as someone who's weak, dumb, crybaby. and well, jisung did save up more than enough for the trip until his father stole all the money he earned.

one week after his graduation, his dad got fired from his job due to reasons that jisung doesn't know. his mom pestered his dad to apply for another job to at least support the family, but instead of following his mom's advice, his dad became a fucktard and started to drink and gamble all the money and the next thing jisung knew, the container where he put the money he saved up was broken and empty.

his mom was probably fed up with the shit his dad is giving her, so, she left the house bringing jisung along with her. and as they were in the process of moving out of the house, she must have realized that having jisung will be a pain on her ass, abandoning him in a rundown apartment with a few bucks. great way to make your son feel useless mom!

he then, cut off contact with his friends, thinking that they'll leave him like his parents and questioned if his friends were really friends or was it all because of popularity that they started hanging out with him. high school friendships last, they said.

the series of depressing things jisung experienced changed him into the person he never imagined to be. he started harming himself, thinking that maybe the physical pain he inflicted on himself could divert the emotional havoc his parents caused him. maybe each cut, each drop of blood, each scar, could help him forget the pain, the wild roar inside of him. and now jisung, once the cheerful boy turned into this self-doubting monster.

'am i that annoying for people to leave me?'

'am i useless?'

'did i do something wrong?'

'what did i do for them to leave me?'

'why am i still alive?'

'can i die?'

everything just happened so fast, it overwhelmed him. the more he cried, the more he hurt himself, the more he grew numb. pain the only thing making him realize that he is still indeed alive in this sinful world and that his mind was filled with negativity that he learned to live with it, ignoring the voices in his head

then, eventually uni started.

jisung might not have been able to go to his dream university, but he was given a scholarship into this prestigious university they have in their place. the school provides him with monthly allowance with the condition of belonging into the dean's list which was easy for jisung. the money was able to supply jisung's daily need and so, he was able to live comfortably without having to work.

throughout the whole school year jisung has been in uni, felix, his roomate, was probably the only person he talked to quite a lot. they had one class together and they always would sit next to each other in that class because wherever jisung would sit, felix would drag his chair and sit beside him. he then would talk to jisung the whole period and jisung would unconsciously bite into "felix's trap" and talk to him a bit.

that one class is where both boys could actually talk to each other because despite being roommates, they rarely meet each other at the dorms because of conflicting schedules. felix works at night as a pizza delivery boy and would come home at a time where jisung is usually asleep. and jisung has classes earlier than felix's, so felix would wake up to find jisung's bed already empty.

jisung had other people he communicates to but they're usually about academics and not about kittens, memes and roblox which is usally the topic he and felix talks about a lot (but more like felix doing the talking and jisung doing the listening). felix is jisung's closest acquaintance, the older afraid to call him a friend since after high school,the word friends and friendships were simply nothing but a piece of decoration to cover up a temporary bonding with deep hidden grugdges within.