So this is so much of a crappy introduction that someone as crappy as I would write. It's very cliche but hi?... Basic facts first, my name is Lottie, I am 15 years old and my life is a ball of shit. When I was approaching 13 I was diagnosed with ILD and it's been really down hill since then. The only way I can express myself is through a pen and paper, but sometimes my canvas is slightly softer and my pen slightly sharper. I've never had the courage to actually kill myself, that takes balls. I have so many important people in my life, but if they left me and I had a gun in my hand, if shoot my self in a heartbeat. I'm pretty popular if I must be slightly vain in this whole situation, but I feel that half of my 'friends' wouldn't care if I died, they're probably using me anyway. I only really trust a handful of humans, only love one, Leslie. Oh my god the things that boy does to me. I know you might think it's ridiculous and pathetic when 13 year olds say they're in love but I believe love doesn't have an age restriction. But I truly love him. Well I've only realised that in the last 4 months, when I realised that he's everything I depend on. I've never really thought about what I'd do if he left me unless it's 2am and slips into my early morning thoughts. It's been almost 11 months I've been with him, crazy I know. I can't even begin to describe what he looks like, only that he has golden hair that glimmers under the light these eyes that are such a deep blue it's like looking into an abyss. He has such a sexy smile and a down right incredible body that only I have ever peeked at in our most intimate moments. When I'm with him I am almost oblivious to anything or anyone else in this ball of rock. And when I'm in bed I dream of turning over and meeting his lips as I have done in the past. Oh but my favourite night I've ever spent with him was when we were laid by the fire, entwined in each other's embrace, drifting in and out of sleeping and reality. Oh it was blissful but I guess I was slightly hungry, except I didn't want food. I turned over from the spooning position and slipped my legs through his. His eyelids opened almost immediately, making me chuckle slightly. He kissed me softly , in which I replied with a firm bite of his bottom lip. Only this set him of, he kissed me again, this time slightly more rough and as they multiplied, so did the intensity. He grabbed my waist, pulling me closer to his body and his, um 'bump' until I was practically underneath him. Then he stopped. I was confused and as it was like 3am I couldn't see a thing. But I could hear, his body moved downwards, unclipping my bra. I was filled with adrenaline and excitement so I slowly pulled of his shirt, exposing his half bare body as was mine. His hands slipped downwards further and further until he got to were he wanted to be. I must have just got a little carried away and I strongly apologise for that as it wasn't intended. Anyway enough about all that lark, this is my life.
