jaane de mujhe

I still remember that feeling
When you stole a glance to me
It was the sophomore year
Of late summer in 2013

I was reading this poetry
By a poet named John Keats
And your doe eyes looking at me
Like those night lamps on the streets

You tried to speak to me at lunch
But stumbled upon words
You got so nervous and dithery
But I can still hear your stutters

Can you help me with practicals
That's what you said
And your eyes seemed so bright
I almost forgot you're the class top grade

By the old builds in the garden
When you kissed me first time
It was so innocent and true
So immersed in you
I could listen to distance chime

When we promised to stay
Even after this life
But didn't know things would change
And that pierce me through knife

I couldn't stay with you
Knowing my bestfriend is in pain
Afterall she was my only one
And your sister by blood, it' was so bane

After the second semester
I found out it was all a lie
Neither you were my lover
Nor my friend was with me to live and die

It was all your fabrication
To get my first position
And the scholarship that I worked for
And all of my life passion

Saw you looking smug
At the graduation ceremony
Once my friend standing with you
And I was staring at you with eyes so lonely

You took my first kiss
My passion, my need
How can a person look so innocent
But be full of greed

Your parents all proud of you
Got something to boast of
Do they know that you stepped on
A glass heart and poor future of

My once best friend didn't wish me
Betrayal was all over her face
Two arms on my shoulders
From my back pressed with grace

“It's ok my dear we'll get a loan”
My daughter is my spine
Said my Papa and maa
I choked out a tear as I held what is mine

Is it ok that I still feel sparks
When I hear your name
Is it ok that there is a pang in my heart
When I hear your name

Shouldn't have bothered trusting you
When I was oh so young
Now I am not able to trust
Even a single one

I see liars everyday and wonder
Why I wanted to be your lover
My first and true feelings got crushed
All that I feel for love is anger

I want to get over
Here, I said it
There's no promises to keep
No feelings to hold it

I want to love this guy in my office
Not want to think about you
That shadow of betrayal
Still clutching my heart in your hands you

Let me go and love again
This time a little lesser
Cause I wanna keep this love for me
Not for someone who'd alter

Now I take my leave.