PILLS - #JaaneDeMujhe

PILLS

"Are you taking your prescriptions?"

"Yes."

The Doc. turned to me in her chair and smiled, "So, shall we continue?"

She looked at the white papers, about to say something, but, I beat her to it.

"The night before... "

She looked at me, probably trying to read my thoughts.

"Do you feel comfortable talking about it yet?", her tone was full of concern.

"Let's just... make hay while the sun shines.", I tried to lighten the tension.

"You seem better today, I think that's a cue."

Putting her clipboard down, Doc. told me to start.

"It was 24th of december..."

I leaned back as I recalled that tragic night.

"I got a bouquet of carnations and baby's breath for her on my way home.

She hugged me on receiving her favourite flowers. I hugged her back with the same enthusiasm. But, when I loosened my grip, she tightened hers.

She was never the one to tell people her worries. She used to endure it, until she'd be defeated. Her way of overcoming was by making others happy or showing affection.

Knowing her, I let her hug me whilst I caressed her hair. Before I could catch up, she let go of me. The little hint of sorrow on her face couldn't reach my eyes.

"What happened?"

"Nothing~"

Her voice was relaxed but her movements were cautious.

∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆∆

I joined her at the table soon.

"What's bothering you?"

My sudden question and serious tone caught her offguard.

She thought for a while, poking her fork in the salad.

"It's just... I don't wanna be with you anymore."

I was confused.

"I know you were aware of my addiction even before we were together. I wanted to tell you myself. But I couldn't. I can't even get over it."

"You will get over it."

I reached for her hand but she yanked it back.

"I won't. It's impossible. You should let me go before it's too late."

She must have wanted to say more but didn't. She was too weak to push me away again.

"I'll never.", I whispered and she stopped.

After that, she was unusually happy the whole night. It was the next morning..."

I stopped.

"Say it.", The Doc. insisted.

"It was 5 am when I woke up alone and searched the house for her.

At 5:05, I found her unconcious in the bathroom with a bottle of pills by her side. I called the ambulance immediately.

At 5:14, the ambulance arrived.

And at 5:19, Maya was pronounced dead due to overdosing."

"So, Jay, she told you to let her go..."

∆∆ At home ∆∆

"It was true, she had told me. But, I wouldn't have to let her go if I had a bit of a clue or if I reached her early. I blamed myself.

Now that she is gone, I think it's time to forget her and stop blaming myself. Doc. is right, It's time to let her go."

With that I swallowed three different pills.