Rad Bad Cool Cops 2

I can be your John Cusack

Just twenty more seconds.

Twenty more seconds, and Elwood Silverstone would have completed his final test to become a PTBI agent. He rocketed over a pit of live piranhas and landed in a stretch of quicksand, but was quicker than a scared rabbit, and managed to escape it and leap through the ring of fire at the end in record time.

Finally, he was at the final stretch. He let out a guttural roar as he leaned forward, going into FULL Running position. Elwood was sweatin about a hundred bullets an hour as he charged forward, arms pumpin, knees high. The end goal was mere feet away from him, just barely out of reach, and he had ten seconds. 

He slammed through the rope at the end of the course so hard that it took him a good few moments to slow himself from all the momentum he had built up. He staggered over, hands on his knees, and took several rough breaths. He could barely see past all the sweat pooling around his eyes. He felt like he was going to throw up - he was a cop, not a pro athlete. He wasn’t trained for this kind of strenuous activity. 

Something cold tapped against his forehead, and he didn’t even have enough energy to react properly to the sudden chill. He looked up, exhausted, to Tommy Gun, who was holding a water bottle in one hand, and a clipboard in the other. 

“Four minutes and fifty-nine seconds. Congratulations.”

About six months before, Elwood had begun his official training to become a PTBI agent with Tommy Gun under President PT’s supervision. And by that, president PT came in every so often to leave them with a new dance tape with a routine they’d have to go over, but otherwise it was just Tommy Gun’s very own training regimen. 

Which, pardon Elwood’s french, was absolutely hellish. Tommy Gun went ham. After each weekly session, Elwood would basically have to be dragged from the gym because he had ground his bones to jelly from how hard he had went.

Elwood was grateful though. He had spent nearly a year trying to rescue the president from a crazed half-alien, half-corpse who had kidnapped him. He hadn’t expected a reward - it had been his policey duty to find PT in a timely fashion - but it had been an HONOR to be given the opportunity to become a PTBI member, which was any cop’s dream. Only the best of the best were brought onto the force, and in President PT’s eyes, Elwood was one of the best. He couldn’t believe it. 

So was Officer Giggle, an officer from Elwood’s previous force, which was really weird IEO (in Elwood’s opinion). Like…what had Officer Giggle done recently? Def not save the president from imminent doom, but whatevs. Elwood guessed he was happy for him too.

And now, finally, Elwood had gotten through his final training. Six months of hard work and hard dancing were finally paying off…

Elwood had been sitting in the locker room for about an hour, downing water bottle after water bottle, getting unbelievable side cramps and being in general distress. Tommy Gun was watching him boredly, waiting for him to chillax. 

“I can’t believe I finally made it,” he finally said after his like five hundreth water bottle. “I finished your training.”

“Yes, you sure did,” Tommy Gun said. She did not sound proud in the slightest. “Just barely.”

There it was, the classic Tommy Gun disapproval. Elwood had learned not to mind her cold personality and snippy comments, though, because being with someone each week for six months taught you to appreciate them to some degree. “Thanks for your support,” Elwood muttered.

“At least you didn’t sweat out your sense of humor,” she commented, and Elwood rolled his eyes. “Since you passed, I’ll tell the higher ups, and then next week when you come, we’ll get you all geared up and everything.” She paused, then came over to rest a hand on Elwood’s very sweaty shoulder. “Good job, Elwood. I’m glad you’re on the force. Also, take a shower.”