_TURN BACK TIME
:not your own kind of love story
Hey dear readers! Please bear with me sorry for the grammatical errors and wrong typos. I'm not perfect this story is not a masterpiece this is just a product of my messy mind:)
It's been three days.
He's still not messaging or visiting me.
Did I overact too much?
But who wouldn't?! He just hit the heart reaction on his ex-girlfriend’s facebook picture!
After taking a bath, I checked my phone but still no message from him so I decided to go to their house, maybe I was overeating, he's not like this he always do the first sorry everytime I'm mad or something this is the first time.
“Tita is Josh home?”I asked, the moment Tita Marie, Josh's Mom opened their door.
She smiled sadly when she saw me.
“What’s wrong Tita?"I asked, intently looking at her but she only looked away.
“Is he inside? Can I see him?”I asked again. I'm already starting to overthink.
What's with Tita Marie’s reaction?
I knocked on Josh's room but there was no response. I already knocked three times but still Josh isn't answering.
Is he mad?
I breath heavily and saw Yaya Linda passing by.
“Hey Yaya Linda!”I smiled at her but she just stared at me.
“Is Josh inside?”I asked awkwardly pointing at Josh's door.
Seconds passed until Yaya Linda spoke.
“I’m sorry hija!”She pulled and hugged me! I was shocked when she started crying!
“What's happening Yaya Linda?” I'm not feeling good about this.
What the fudge is happening?! I knocked on Josh's door hardly but still there was no response!
“Josh?! Open the door!”I was about to knock again when Yaya Linda pulled both of my hands.
“Hija listen to me! Josh is not inside”My brows creased upon hearing her said those words.
The negative thoughts forming in my mind awhile ago immediately vanished, thinking that the reason why he won't open the door is because he's mad and he doesn't want to talk to me.
Why didn't they tell me earlier?
“Where is he? I really miss him. I think he's mad at me, this is the first time he didn't message me after our fight last Friday”I smile but I'm not really feeling well this past few days “I'm not having good thoughts about him not messaging me” I said honestly.
“He’s gone Ysa”I looked at Yaya Linda questionably. Not really getting what she said.
“Where did he go? When will he be back? This afternoon? Well, I can wait for him”Yaya Linda opened her mouth initiating a word but she immediately closed them.
“I guess I have to tell Mom that I’ll be staying here for awhile until Josh arrive”I added.
I got my phone from the sling bag I'm wearing and was about to open it when I Yaya Linda spoke.
“Josh is not coming home anymore”Said Yaya Linda. It’s almost a whisper but enough for me to hear.
“What?” I asked, hardly processing what she just said.
“He’s gone Shey..He died the day you two broke up”Things went fast, I just found my phone lying on the floor, my phone lit up and I saw my wallpaper, it was me and Josh smiling on my now broken phone screen.
I laughed without humor.
“What’s with the joke Yaya Linda?”I laughed but I know that laugh was forced. I don't really like the joke if it isn’t Yaya Linda maybe I am now throwing mean words to her!
“What are you saying Yaya Linda?”I asked, trying to make her take back what she said.
“Is this some of his surprises for me?”I asked again while crouching down to pick my broken phone.
“Josh is already dead hija! You already know that, you're just having hard time believing!"Tears were already forming in my eyes, refusing to believe the words I heard.
“Stop hurting yourself..Stop coming here everyday asking for Josh!” She tried lowering down to reach for me to I got away from her.
“Stop! Shut up! SHUT UP!”I can't take this! I covered my ears while closing my crying eyes trying to remove myself in the current situation.
“You are not the only one hurting! It's your 4th time coming here asking the same thing! I was hurt when Josh died, I want to be angry at you! I want to blame you! I badly want to tell you that it was your fault! You broke up with him! He drove to your house after drowning himself from drinking beer, only because he wanted to say sorry even though it wasn't his fault! You we're just overreacting. So please accept it already he's gone! Stop coming here asking for him you're not only hurting yourself but also the people who he called family here! Let him rest now!”Tears we're already uncontrollably streaming down my face.
“No! That's not true! We didn't broke up! I love him! He's not fucking dead! Your lying!”I gripped on my phone. I felt a sting and was followed by a drop of blood but soon it became numb.
“Shey, hija stop doing this to yourself! Please I'm sorry for blaming you”I was already kneeling on the floor my shoulders are shaking while I'm clenching my chest.
“Accept it already...Josh doesn't want seeing you like this”Yaya Linda put her hands on my shoulders.
I'm on the verge of breaking. Memories came flashing, me telling Josh ‘Let’s break up’ and Josh crying asking me to take back my words.
“I’m so sorry Josh”
It was like a memory lane. I saw a coffin, Tita Marie was crying and screaming ‘Son please wake up!’ I want to tell Tita Marie that it is not Josh but I was afraid ‘What if I see Josh inside that coffin?’
Josh is already dead but I can't just accept it. It was my fault.
I run and erased that thought in my mind, I run as fast as I can my vision is already blurred with tears then I heard a loud scream.
“SHEY!”
It was too late. I was hit by a big truck. I can feel myself floating, the next thing I know I was already lying in a cold cement road. I welcomed the darkness eating my consciousness.
‘I’m going to see you now Josh. I’m sorry for losing you, I can't wait to see you. I miss you so damn much. If only I can turn back time’
