CLUELESS

AFRAID

29 JULY 2019  4:45  

Have you ever been in a stage where u started getting nervous and it goes to that stage where u think about suicide and actually attempted? well, I did if you haven't heard about my first 2 part of my story then u shouldn't be here.

Do u remember the last line that I wrote: "I miss my grandparents" that was a lie cause they weren't there for me or for my mum? they were just supporting their son. after my 14th birthday, it's been 6 months since they stopped arguing. just last month we found out my mum has a tumour. since that day she changed a bit she worries about the tumour every single day the doctor said they have to get rid of one of her ovaries it wasn't like serious like cancer but still I knew she wasn't gonna be happy like she used to be. I don't know why I'm crying typing this maybe  I really miss the way she used to smile it was beautiful. I wish I could talk to her more often. I know that I can't bring that smile back only my dad can but do you think a person like him who talks to other women ignores my mum even if she's ill. I don't know whats his problem if he didn't like my mum why the fuck did u marry to her if you're gonna hit her for no reason and talk to other women and give them more time than to my mum. all I wanna say to my dad is " DAD THANKS FOR MAKING ME FELL LIKE I'M NOTHING TO YOU THANKS FOR MAKING ME THINKING  ABOUT SUICIDE AND TO ATTEMPT, THANKS FOR GIVING ME DEPRESSION AND MAKING ME LONELY. YOU WERE ACTUALLY NEVER THERE FOR US OR FOR ME WHERE WERE U WHEN I WAS SMALL JUST LIVING WITH MY MUM. YOU WERE AWAY IN THE CITY LIVING WITH ANOTHER WOMEN IS THAT TRUE DADD!!! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO MESSED EVERYONE'S LIFE, MY BROTHER WHO WANTS TO LIVE HAPPILY BUT YOU TOOK AWAY HIS HAPPINESS U KEPP SHOUTING AT HIM WHEN HE TELLS U TO STOP TALKING WITH OTHER WOMEN. U ALREADY RUIN MY HAPPINESS THERE IS NOTHING THERE TO SAY. MY MUM WHO WANTS U TO TAKE CARE FOR HER, MAKE HER HAPPY AND STAY BY HER SIDE ONLY...........

  :(