August 18, 2012
Hey, so... this is kinda my first entry here. Really not sure what this is for to be honest. I haven't kept a diary in forever literally. Dr. Fleming suggested that I need to keep one. "It's therapeutic and you'd be surprised how helpful it is, really!"
"Really!" I hate that word. It's one of those words someone uses to sound convincing but in reality, they completely doubt it themselves.
"Really!" is just one of those things you say if you can't think of anything else to say.
Again. I hate it. Who even comes up with those shit? I'm rambling now. How the crap is this supposed to be helpful if I get irritated and angry at every word that I write here? Thanks a lot doc.
This is having the opposite effect of what it's supposed to be doing. Damn it. Damn this book.
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Right, I've calmed down a bit I guess.
I just got off the phone with Dr. Fleming again. He says I should take it slow.
So, I'm Ken. Well actually Kenny... 'my-last-name-doesn't-concern-you-cuz-you're-a-freaking-diary'
But Ken for short. As you may have guessed, I have problems.
Anger issues, definitely.
Depression, absolutely.
Cynical above all else.
Skeptical about this writing thoughts and feelings on paper, hell yeah. I really can't get my mind over the fact that this is supposed to help me. I mean what the crap am I paying a shrink for if I could just write stuff down and it would solve my shitty problems?
Absolutely pointless. I just don't get this shit.
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So... I just got off the phone again with the doc. He thinks I should take it even slower. Like what the hell, does he want me to write about? Or does he mean I literally write slow. This is really crazy. I don't even see the point in doing this and he thinks I should do whatever this is slowly?
It's like someone tells you "Hey hold my pen for a bit, but you need to do it magnificently!" What freaking hell?!
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Okay so doc says maybe this isn't working so well for me and I need a different outlet. So yeah. Nice meeting you diary.
-End of entry-
