Daniel Seavey Imagines

The girl I fell in love with

these kind of days happen sometimes. i feel like i'm on the absolute top of the world. i'm lucky to be alive and my life has so many ups and positives and everything's going right. and then i hit a sudden drop.

it's like going in slow motion. one second i'm doing great and the next second there's a pain in my chest and a weight on my shoulders and my breathing becomes labored and i suddenly watch the room spin while i'm just standing there, unable to move or speak.

it was during the movie when it hit me, i guess. i was happy and smiling while watching my favorite movie with five of my favorite people and suddenly i felt in pain. it was torturous. like standing in the middle of a beach and watching a wave come crashing in with no warning and no chance of moving out of the way.

everything in the moment came into perspective as i thought about what happened recently. the overwhelming weight of the world fell on me as thoughts about school and about my friends and the ideas of my parents all floated through my mind. and in the anxiety and the panic, i was able to excuse myself. to go to the bathroom, to get some water, to grab a blanket. i'm not sure what i told him, i'm not sure if he even heard me, but somehow i found myself wandering into his bedroom where i collapsed against his bed and shoved my head into my knees and let the sobs wipe over them.

while it didn't seem so bad at the time, looking at everything that's happened recently only made my anxiety worse. i thought about the test grades i gotten recently and the thousands of dollars my parents spent on an education when i couldn't even succeed in getting an A on every test. what would they think of me if they could see how i can't be consistent? maybe they'll call and they'll have that disappointing tone where they'll tell me i'm not doing as well as they expected and that they aren't sure this is the right path.

and then what? i move back home and start working at a local restaurant or bar or maybe as a nanny. i give up my dream that's out here in LA and go back to reality. my friends will be pissed. all those nights i turned down a shot to get some sleep or a party so i could study. all those nights i said no never would have paid off. in the end, i couldn't even use those nights i turned them down to my advantage. if all i could get was a C+ or a B, then what was the point of turning them down? they all know that. they'll all see that i'm not good enough.

and Daniel. he'll see me as nothing but a failure. he'll recognize that someone like him isn't meant for someone like me. i'm not the girl that he dreamed of and i'm not as perfect as i should've been. i can't give him everything he wants and deserves. he'll know that and i'll lose one of the most important people in my life all because i couldn't stay consistent for a few fucking tests.

my breathing was heavier and heavier as i sobbed into my knees, unable to catch any oxygen in my mouth. through my closed eyes, a sliver of light is seen as i try my best to breath.

in and out. in and out. in and out.

next to me the bed sinks and as much as i thought the presence of someone would hurt, i could feel myself let out some anxiety. maybe someone cared just enough to come see me. warmth surrounded my body as i let out an even louder and harder sob.

as soon as i felt a body engulf me, i knew that it was daniel. he came from behind me and wrapped his arms warmly around my body, pulling me into his lap and holding me as if i were a piece of gold. i let out another sob and wrapped my arms around his neck.

"i-i-i—i'm," i stutter out, "i'm –s-s-s-sorr–sorry i'm not enough."

he let out a sympathetic noise, trying to calm me down, "You are enough, y/n. You are my everything, love."

I couldn't take in his words in that moment. As much as I wanted to believe him, I couldn't. I couldn't believe that was what he thought of me.

"Y/n, I know you're hurting right now, and trust me darling, it hurts me to see you like this. I want to do whatever I can to stop the pain you're feeling, i promise you. Y/n, you're enough. You are smart and gorgeous and funny. You are kind," He says and there's a brief silence.

"remember that time when we were in the backyard over the summer? We were all chilling by the pool and i was doing attempting to do a flip off of the diving board and i belly flopped? Everyone thought it was so funny, including myself, and we were all laughing, but even then before you even knew me too well, you were immediately at my side. You came to the ladder and you helped me out and you checked on me to make sure I was okay. That's the girl I fell in love with, Y/n. The kind and caring girl who took safety before her own humor," Daniel reminisced to one of the first times we'd met.

i let out a harder cry, this time in admiration for everything my boyfriend had just shared with me.

"or what about that time where it was almost midnight and everyone else was asleep after we'd finished the movie. You'd come up to my room and you were just gonna stay for the night because we were all absolutely exhausted. I remember that you were absolutely the funniest person in the world that night. And I remember thinking, oh it's probably just the exhaustion that makes me think this is funny, but it wasn't. Y/n, you have the craziest and weirdest sense of humor in the world. Your laugh is the most beautiful sound I've ever heard. It's so contagious and pretty and makes everyone who hears it smile and that's the girl I fell in love with. The hilarious girl who was lying on the floor laughing about a stupid cow joke that i'd told you."

"Daniel, I don't deserve someone like you,"

"Love, if there's anything that I want you to trust me on, it's this. You aren't a disappointment and you aren't less than anyone else. You are perfect the way you are. I see everything that you're doing. You study your ass off and you get grades that any one of my friends would kill to have. You are one of the hardest working people I know,"

"is that the girl you fell in love with?" I let out a sniffled laugh and daniel chuckles to himself.

"yes, y/n, that's the gorgeous, funny, talented, smart, and hard-working girl that i fell in love with," He kisses my nose gently and I scrunch it. I latch myself onto daniel and let him squeeze my body a little bit to prove to me every statement he said. i could feel his smile against my neck and i couldn't help but smile myself. that's the boy that i fell in love with.