The Aptitude of Teaching

F.S.U Squad

Story from Professor Snow Padington (Astronomy)
Written down by Sonal Jaitly
Edited by Adrie Schrijver
•~•~•

   Oh, I remember this happening before, and I was nearly expelled out of BSU because of it. This was back during my first year here in the university. It was a, I think, Monday, and my brother and I were heading to our classrooms. I took the Forensic Science course——I wanted to be a detective back then, and I did become one before I became a Professor——and my brother took the Epidemiology course, since he wanted to know how the hell do Epidemologists study diseases, and recreate the Black Plague for reasons he won't tell me upto this day.

   We were just about to take the stairs, until we heard yelling, shouting and someone screaming, "Somebody get the Headmaster!". Of course, being the curious naive children we were, my brother and I went back to the entrance to check what was going on.

   And I swear, it was the weirdest shit we have ever laid our eyes upon.

  Outside, on the campus grounds was someone driving a grey golf cart, and wearing an old Spiderman costume. The person drove donuts around, leaving messy circles on the grass and tire tracks on the stone paths in the center of the grounds.

   "What an idiot," I told North, and was about to step back in inside the building, having already seen enough bullshit for one day.

   It wasn't until the person removed the Spiderman mask, and was wolf whistling. Loudly.

   "Bloody hell it's our idiot," North said, with disbelief in his voice and he facepalms at the idiocracy.

   And that idiot was none other than our beloved Professor Easton himself. There were other students watching at the edge of campus and by the windows that were either cheering him on, or wondering what in the bloody hell is he doing.

   I've forgotten how this happened, but North and I were suddenly in the golf cart with him, screaming and shit because a) we are panicking, b) we are screaming at Easton to stop, and c) this is Easton. This man never stops doing bull.

   Alright, so there we were; me and my brother——screaming, and panicking and begging for our bestfriend to stop. But no, Easton decides that riding over his self-made ramp across the goddamn fountain——which was at the center of the campus grounds before the statue, that you students worship——was a good idea to fucking do.

   But the whole ramp thing didn't work at all. Physics and engineering weren't on his side. So the golf cart crashed onto the side of the fountain, and the damage was really irrepairable to say the least. I broke my arm, North suffered a leg injury, and Easton broke his nose by hitting the steering wheel too hard on impact. The golf cart was beyond repair, the front being crushed up really, really bad.

   Headmaster William came, and we were sent to detention. We were supposed to have expulsion for breaking school property and creating a ruckus, but since it was the first week of classes, he lets it slide and made us do community service for two weeks. The three of us were known as the "Fuck Shit Up" squad and it stuck for the whole three semesters of being in this university.

    Back to the poor fountain. It was taken out, and been replaced by the founders's statue a week later. The three of us were the reason why the statue is there, and now we're wondering the outcome if we didn't crash the fountain. Surely, the fountain would still be there, and there would be no weird cult going on in BSU. But here we are.

   What's the lesson of this story? Well, you know your friend is a bestfriend if they drag you to do shit with them. There are more stories of the F.S.U squad, and I would gladly tell you all more, but that'll be for another time.