Oblivion. (Haylor Story).

two

Taylor's Pov:

After getting rid of everything possibly in my stomach one last time, I put my head into my hands. This action is a re-occurrence of mine, after every time I purge, I cry. Sometimes it's about Harry, other times it's just from stress. This time, it's a little bit of both. I couldn't wrap my head around him leaving. I thought we both loved each other, that we were meant for each other. I wipe under my eyes with my fourth finger, and release a breath. My throat burns as I swallow, desperately needing water. I put my hand against the wall to guide myself to my feet. As I stand up, I look in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot and my face is blotted with makeup. I decide against fixing it, so I just wipe it all off. After noticing I'd been huddled in the bathroom for forty five minutes, I pull my hair out of the ponytail it was falling out of. I pull open the door and nearly hit Tree with it.

"Oh my god, Tree I didn't see you there. I'm so sorry, are you okay? Did I hurt you?" I panic, no one has ever been remotely near me while I was purging.

"No I'm fine, but are you? I heard you in there- are you feeling sick?" She asks and my fears are confirmed.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My stomach is just all messed up, I was drinking last night." I admit, which is half true.

"Okay, well I'm glad you're feeling somewhat better. We land in a few hours so if you want to go to sleep, you can."

"Thanks." I mumble and shuffle past her. I make my way back to the row I was sitting in previously, and slide into the window seat. I pull my headphones out of my purse and plug them into my phone. I scroll through my music and click on secrets by onerepublic. I decide against being awake for the rest of the flight, I'm exhausted anyway. I pull a blanket out of the overhead compartment and throw it over myself. I close my eyes and lean my head against the window.

~~~

Taylor's Pov:

Shortly after falling asleep for what seemed like ten minutes, I feel the plane beginning to descend. My stomach jumps and I bite my lip, I've never been great with planes landing. I grip the seat with one hand, and pull out my headphones with the other. I feel sweat building up in my palms as the plane touches the ground. I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and pick up my purse. After stuffing my headphones into the side pocket, I fold up the blanket and throw it back into the compartment. I walk down the aisle, mumbling a 'thank you' to the pilot. After quickly exiting the plane and getting into another car to drive to the hotel, I finally can breathe. I bring my hands up to my temples and begin to rub the throbbing area.

After an agonizing twenty minute car ride to the hotel, I step out of the car. There's fans crowding around the doors, but no paparazzi. After quickly signing shirts and pausing to take pictures, I make my way into the hotel. I was already checked in, so I just made my way up to my room. As soon as I discovered that it was close to midnight, I decided to lie down. I was still exhausted, even though I just slept for close to three hours. I feel my legs weaken as I walk to the bed. I collapse my weight onto the bed and let out a breath. I pull the comforter up and slide myself under it. While lying on my back, something occurs to me.

"Maybe Harry left because there's something wrong with me." I say to myself out loud. Thinking about it now, it seems like a good answer to all my questions. He did cheat on me, maybe I was the problem. Normally in a relationship, you're together without stress or worry. In Harry and I's relationship, it was all about schedules and long time periods away from each other. Usually while in a relationship, you're planning for the future. In ours, we were planning for the next day, the next time we'd see each other. We had no time to commit, to ever really spend a night together or a weekend even. I'm starting to doubt that his fans were the problem, or even the press. The hate was awful, but Harry was always there. I could always rely on him or my mom to get me through it. But when he cheated, my whole world came crashing down. I struggled to get up on a daily basis, like now. I had a difficult time waking up and facing the world even. A few weeks later, it all went down hill. I started starving myself, I figured he wanted a skinny model instead of me. After coming to that realization, I was disgusted with my body and the way I ate. So, I started starving myself. It was stupid on my part, obviously because my fans notice anything and everything wrong with me. Rumors circulated that I had an eating disorder, which was all but false. I never even really thought about what I was doing, how much I was damaging my body. It never occurred to me that I was weakening my body and immune system. Flash forward eight months and I'm still noticing that. My stomach constantly growls, begging for even a speck of food. Headaches are a common occurrence now, which are killer. Because of the lack of food in body, I've grown very weak. I can barely run a mile on a treadmill while working out without almost collapsing there. I considered calling a therapist or maybe even a friend. But the only 'friend' who could help would be Harry. He is always trying to get back together, to be a couple again. I want to let him in again, to solve every single one of my problems.

My hands start to shake as I consider this option. I could always just call Harry, a phone call would help me hold on to reality somewhat. I shake my head as I begin to sit up to grab my phone.

"He wouldn't answer you Taylor, he doesn't want you. He doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't want you." I thought to myself and brought my hands up to face. Why didn't he want me? Why can't he come swooping in and saving me like superman?

I reach to the bedside table as tears begin to fall. I can feel myself slowly breaking down, quickly rushing to the ground to collide with the hard ground and shatter apart. I pick up the device, the only thing that keeps me connected entirely with Harry. I dial his number, I know it by heart for some reason. Next thing I know, he answers on the first ring.

"Taylah, what are you doing up? It's nearly midnight in England, are you okay?" He asks, his crisp accent hitting me like a ton of bricks. I open my mouth to answer but the only thing that comes out is a sob. First one quiet one, then another and another; quickly getting louder and my heart begins to beat faster.

"Taylah, what's wrong? Do you need me to fly out to England?" He asks. I hear sheets ruffle and a light switch flicker on. He's staying at a hotel because he's touring right now.

"Yes." I cry and let another sob escape my lips.

"I'm leaving now, I'll see you when I get there."

"No Harry-" I sob, clutching my phone and trying to catch my breath.

"I'm coming right now, it's gonna be okay." He says calmly and I cry into the phone. I'd never experienced a breakdown like this, normally I just cry by myself. But now, I truly need someone before I lose myself.

(A/N: Well..... I don't know what to say after writing that. It was actually really challenging to write but, I wrote it. I hope you enjoy it, and tell me if I need to change anything. I really appreciate your feedback and comments. I don't know if you can tell but, I added out of the woods lyrics into this :) Thank you for reading, see you next week!)