Let Me Go #JaaneDeMujhe

Let Me Go

The doorbell rang and I opened the door. No one was there but I noticed a strange looking box on the step. I lifted the lid and saw a familiar face inside. It mouthed something relentlessly.

'Why didn't you save me then? Now let me go.'

I sprang up from bed, which creaked, revealing its helpless senility. Another one of my regular nightmares. I usually get relieved after I wake up, but today's not that day. I see thick darkness gaping back at my sweating face.

It takes a few minutes to calm my breath. Each fill of air brushes its cold shoulder against my nostrils, then brings stinging pain to my chest. And whenever I see nightmares, my insides go haywire. I remind myself once again, don't freak out.

The darkness is now less dark. I blink in unison with my phone, which sensed my lifeless fingertips and opened itself up. 2 AM. Should I call mother? No. She must be asleep. I had pulled the blankets over my head a few hours ago as shouting voices filled the air below my room.

I don't wish to disturb my parents. Let them fight in peace. They don't have to hide their frustration from me, anymore.

I pace up and down the hall in the dark, feeling the walls. I don't want to see the light. It won't reach soul deep. I stop to see my hands in the pale moonlight pushing its way through the glass window. I can see them, but I don't feel them familiar, like his hands did.

'Why didn't you save me?'

My memories start digging up the graves of my heart. How did it all end up like this? Why couldn't I fight for him? They rushed back to the disinfectant smelling floors of the hospital room, even though I tried pulling them back.

I couldn't be with him when he went. I thought I'd be the first to die. Well, that's the rule. If you're weaker and unwell, you die first. Little did I know that fate would cheat in this game. He had promised me he'd be there with me when I die, He wasn't afraid of death, he feared loneliness. A curse I loved, before he came into my sullen life.

I wish I could turn back time, be with him when he wanted it the most, for one last time. Or at least die first.

I press my fingernails deep into my pale palm, wishing the pain could reach my nerves. Just so I could know how that felt. Did it hurt before he died?

I have to let him go. For his sake, at least. I can't hold onto him any longer. He needs to rest. I love him enough to let him go.

I looked at the pictures on my phone for the tenth time that night. My eyes get blurred as tears drip down those relics, perhaps they're flinching in the rhythm of the falling drops.

EDIT: WORD COUNT:499