The Boy Without His Love

1. Memories

Jakes P.o.V

And upload. The video for today was uploading meaning I had a lot of free time for the rest of the day. I tried to think of something to do. A few weeks ago I decided to stop going to the beach. The girl wouldn't show up and I accepted that now. Or at least I tried to. Of course it wasn't easy to break the habit of going there and waiting for her to never come, even now while I was just trying to find something to entertain myself with I had the urge to go back and listen to the waves. I wanted to dwell on the memories so badly but I couldn't allow myself. It would destroy me, like it did every time I was back there. Like every little death I died when another day passed without being able to hear the girls soft laugh or enjoying the night sky with a silent companion. I missed her with every cell of my body and it hurt. It hurt to know that I might not be able to experience what I had with her ever again.
I still wonder what happened. Why she disappeared. If she ever thought of me and considered coming back. If there even was an option of coming back and if she was fine. There were so many questions on my mind and by now I had too many possible answers for them, making me want to throw everything that I had away and go and search for her just to spend some more time with her. Even if it was just a minute. Even if it would just be a "Go away. I don't want to see you anymore." I wouldn't mind. Sure, I'd be heartbroken. But nothing was worse than nit knowing what happened.
"Wanna go grab some taco bell?"
I turned in my seat, looking at Colby. I didn't hear him entering my room. I shook my thoughts off and smiled at him. "Sure."