The Life and Lies of Cassy Fairbanks

Chapter One Continued

The class erupted into laughter.

“Sorry Mr Baxter, but can I just stop to blow my nose? It’s kinda urgent.”

“You may, your story seems fine so far, BUT please don’t use the words, kinda and gonna, instead say kind of and going to.”

Olivia blew her nose.

“What was I saying?” asked Olivia.

“Oh, yeah, it’s coming back to me now, Cassandra went downstairs. Her Mum was in the Lounge, staring out of the window. Writers describe stuff a lot, don’t they? So, I’m gonna, I mean I am going to describe the window. It was a big, tall window. Quite clear too, actually. You could actually see through the window, because it was so, incredibly clear. I think my describing skills are pretty good, aren’t they, Mr Baxter?”

“No comment,” replied Mr Baxter dryly.

“Do you want me to describe her Mum, Eva Fairbanks? Wait, is that her name? No, she’s called Eleanor. Okay, so Eleanor had bleach blonde hair and she wore a pink tracksuit. She was pretty skinny, I suppose, but that was only because she jogged round the block for half an hour every evening. And actually, while I’m at it, I suppose I better describe Cassandra.

Cassandra had really long, dark brown hair, which she wore in a plate. I mean plait. And she was average size. Average everything. That was why she could not understand why she was being stalked.”

“How many stalkers did she have?” asked someone in the class.

“It was hard to tell. Cuz the stalkers changed each time. They would follow her in groups, and they would always wear really funny clothes. And act as if Cassandra was famous!”

“So,” said one of the boys, as Olivia stopped to take a breath. “One day Cassandra was walking to School, and this really big guy with a beard stopped her and said,

“Yer a Wizard, Cassandra. Yer goin’ to ‘Ogwarts””

There was uproar. Even Olivia couldn’t stop herself from laughing. Finally, she managed to stop herself.

“Can I make this plain? Cassandra is not magical! Anyway, from the window Cassandra could see a cluster of people. On closer inspection she could see that they were more of her stalkers. Which bride would wear luminous yellow knee socks with her short wedding dress? On what planet would a groom wear a fluffy hat with a tuxedo? The stalkers ALWAYS wore such strange clothes! And they always carried cameras! From where she was standing she could see the bridesmaid surreptitiously taking a picture of Cassandra’s house.”

Mr Baxter nodded approvingly.

“Cassandra, you CAN write,” he said encouragingly.

“Does that mean I can stop?” begged Olivia.

“Nope, nice try.”

“Urgghh! Ok, so Cassandra was getting pretty fed up of being followed everywhere, so she decided to take action! She ran out of the Lounge at top speed, then rushed out the door shouting,

“I’m going to Vicky’s!”

This was a total lie. Okay, well she did have a friend called Vicky, who lived in the same street…But, she was actually gonna spy-”

“Going to,” interrupted Mr Baxter.

“Okay, she was actually going to spy on the people outside. So she managed to creep outside and hide behind a bush, without giving away her position! Cassandra was already seriously creeped out, but even more so when the groom pointed to random rooms in her house and saying stuff like,