Blinding Lights

When I was a child, afraid of the dark, my mother told me to close my eyes and count to ten...that my eyes would adjust if I just gave them time. As a young woman I still close my eyes and count to fall asleep but I'm grown enough not to fear the things that go bump in the night.

My alarm shatters whatever peaceful dream I was having. I growl and throw the covers aside. I blindly feel around in the dark for my glasses and when I find them I quickly turn the alarm off. 6:30 the numbers scream at me. I rub the sleep from my eyes and trudge to the bathroom. I don't bother looking at myself before I hop in the shower, I know I would just scare myself.
At 7:30 I am dressed in my school uniform. My long black hair is brushed and braided and my skin is as pale as the moon. I fidget with my skirt as I finish cooking breakfast. I slide a plate to my little brother Bentley and sit down to eat with him. My mother comes into the kitchen like a hurricane and makes herself a plate while simultaneously trying to button her blouse. I stand and help her with her buttons.
"Livi I'm going to be home late tonight so please make sure your brother gets his homework done and gets fed and to bed at a decent time. Harry's finally giving me some extra shifts at the diner so I'm taking advantage while I can" my mother said between bites.
"Sure mom no problem" I mumble. I never minded helping my mother I just hated when she assumed that I had no plans. That fact that I didn't just made me even more depressed.
We all rush out the door. I'm lost behind the sea of my mother's red hair as I helped her into the car. My brother inherited my moms beautiful red hair and freckled skin, while I took after our father who now lives in Florida with his new wife and her children. My mother wishes me a good day and drives off in a flash to drop my brother at elementary. I start walking in the opposite direction as my private school resides at the end of our block.

I stare at the entrance to Saint Clare's and I want to vomit a little in my mouth. Private school had not been my choice but my father felt guilty for abandoning us so he bought me into this school and bought my brother a PlayStation so in other words I got completely jipped. I fidget with my skirt again as it never feels right and adjust my glasses. I breath deep and push my way through the entrance.
There is little difference between the inside of my school and the city zoo. The single boys are all trying to one up each other in front of the girls that have sprayed themselves with tacky perfume and caked their faces with makeup, all hoping that they'll be asked to the Fourth of July carnival tomorrow. The couples are wrapped around each other to the point of not being able to distinguish where one ends and one begins. The teachers all cower in their classrooms avoiding confrontation. I push through all of this and feel a genuine relief when I see my best friend Katy standing at our lockers.
"Oh my god Livi did you see Jessica Kanes and Scott Withers? Rebecca is going to have a cow when she realizes Scott is cheating on her. Oh! And Mr. Anderson said that your makeup paper is due Thursday and Mrs. Kline said if I saw you to come see her as soon as you could and-" I covered Katy's mouth and smiled.
"I love you Katy but I can't really deal with all of this right now" I sighed. Katy hushed her voice.
"Trouble at home?" She whispered.
"No not trouble just busy. My moms been swamped between her two jobs and I've had to take care of Bentley a lot so my school work has been falling behind. I need to get back on track before they call and give her anymore stress to deal with." I sigh.
"Are we still going to the carnival tomorrow?" She asks hesitantly.
"Of course bud I already cleared it with my mom and Bentley is going with his friends and their family. You've got me for the whole night" I say just as the bell rings. Katy smiles wide and waves as she bounces off for Band. Katy and I were polar opposites. While I was tall and lean and pale as a ghost, Katy was short and round with skin like sunshine and hair a deep shade of auburn. She was loud and proud and loved to gossip and she was my very best friend. I grab my book from my locker and begrudgingly stalk to Mrs. Kline's history class.