Founded Out Of Depression

Feeling Alone

It was a muggy October night, sitting in the bathroom as blood seeps from my cuts. Feeling like I don't belong here, both my dad's forget i'm here because of James, my lil brother James just colors things for me, and people at school hate me for only having dad's. Relieving the pain of my heart, I make cuts on my arm the blood is the pain flowing out. This pain inside where no one can see is slowly killing me. This torture inside where I hide it is ripping me apart bit by bit. These thoughts inside are hunting me so dark it hurts so badly. These scars outside are just marks from within. Cuts scabbing over I put on my jacket just in time *knock knock "Lavayah are you in there" my father (Evan) asked "just a minute and I'll be out" I answered cleaning the blood from the floor. Hiding my cuts I walk to my room "Lavayah me and your father need to talk to you" my father (Alex) said before I fully tried closing my door "i'm not in the mood to talk" I rudely reply. Feeling the burn of my cuts I try closing the door "Lavayah Ashten Chaplain we now your cutting, we saw the blood on the floor" first father said "please just leave me alone like you do everyday" I yell pushing them away and locking the door. Know they care about me *knock knock "LAVAYAH OPEN THE DOOR THIS INSTANT" both of them yell. I open my widow and climb out before they both find the key. Walking around I see families laughing, kids running, no one is sad. I keep walking into town to a Halloween story. I walk in to be greeted by my uncle "Lavayah how are you doing my little peach". I knew my uncle very well, he help me hide from my dad's for awhile to cool down give me money for food and a hotel once a month. "I got caught cutting" I replied sitting on the counter "Lavayah" he said sadly "why are you cutting" he asked grabbing my arm "Feeling like I don't belong here, both my dad's forget i'm here because of James, my lil brother James just colors things for me, and people at school hate me for only having dad's." My uncle sighs "little peach you should have came to me instead of cutting, Lavayah I care about you like you were my own, now promise to me you'll never cut again" I give him a big hug "I promise". After promising I see my dad's walking around the corner "Uncle Cole please don't let them know i'm here" I say run back to the dressing rooms. The door dings "Cole have you seen Lavayah, she snuck out her window again" my first father said "No i'm sorry Evan did you try the park" my uncle replied "yes we did and she's not there, we're worried about her" both my dad's answered "do you know of any of her friends" my second father asked "what friends, everyone kid hates her" my uncle said madly "you really don't pay attention to Lavayah do you" he added. Both my father's look down "maybe you should, cause I have seen Lavayah today and all she wants is to feel loved by you two" my uncle said as he turns to go back to work. After my dad's left I ran to the front "Thank you uncle Cole" I look around "my I take a costume for tonight" I asked slowly walking away "go for it little peach and take one for James" my uncle responded before talking to a customer. Looking around I thought of things I could choose like James likes Peter Pan, Pirates, and Animals. I walk around to find a cute pirate costume for James, thinking about me I walk around "maybe I can find a pirate costume for myself and take James trick or treating tonight" I said softly to my self grabbing a toy sword to go with James costume. I finished shopping with two swords, two pirate costumes, and some make up. I head up to the front "thank you uncle Cole for everything, I'll make sure to stop by with James to show off our costumes", giving him a hug I grab the bag of supplies and walked home. At home I see my dad's car is still gone so I walk inside "JAMES ARE YOU HERE" I yell "Sissy" James answered running around the corner "I have something for you" I told him pulling the pirate costume out "I would love to take you trick or treating in pirate costumes". James smiled "we're going to be pirates" he said happily jumping around. I took James to my room to help him in his costume, I put fake scars on his face "James you look so cute" I said walking over to my bed to grab is sword "sissy pirate too" James said seeing another costume "yes James I got a pirate costume too just to match you". Finishing up my make-up I hear my dad's walk in through the front door "where could she be" I hear them say "James come here" I said picking him up off my bed "let's go show our dads what sissy got you". Walking out into the living room I see both of them cry "um dad, James and I would like to show you our costumes" I said softly walking around the couch "Lavayah". They look up in tears "where have you been we were worried sick about you" they said "never mind that we're just glad you're safe". James hated them not saying how cute he looked "me and sissy pirates" he butted in "aww how cute, Lavayah did you do this for your brother" one father said as the other took a picture "I just wanted to get closer to you guys ever since James came home from the hospital 4 years ago you guys pretend like I'm not even around anymore" I said holding back tears "Lavayah, why didn't you say anything sweetie" my dad's say hugging me "I've tried but James always came first" James kissed my cheek "I wove you sissy". Feeling the love the had for me, I melted into crying "Lavayah sweetie don't cry you'll ruin your make up" they said, Coming down I was ready to take James trick or treating. First we walked to our uncle's house to get big bags of candy "little peach and jellybean" my uncle said "I see to adorable looking pirates" he added handing James a black bag with a skull head on it. Picking up James for a picture I noticed Emma walking by "oh no" I said hiding behind my dad's "Lavayah sweetie what are you doing" my dad's ask "it's Emma she's the worst, she's bullied me ever since I started school here"I replied. Waiting for Emma to walk by before taking a family Photo and starting a long night of trick or treating with my family. As the night grew long James was about done and ready to head home, crossing the street to the last house I see a car speeding around the corner, I quickly run to push James out of the way but before I can move it was to late. All I remember after that was my dad's yelling and blood.