Piano Lessons

Still Lost

Time: 1:07PM

I see a dark blue Dodge Grand Caravan GT park outside of the cake store I'm in. I wait until he honks his horn- with that, I'm walking outside the bakery and into his van. As I buckle myself in, he notices my tear stained cheeks but doesn't say anything yet. I can't believe I'm in his van. This is all I've ever dreamed about- but not for the right reason. He has to love me unconditionally- no pity whatsoever. But thats all I see in his eyes. He'll never see me as an adult...only a child. I can't look him in the eyes at all- or else I might burst in tears. So I just look outside the window until he finally speaks.  "So, are we gonna talk about what happened? Or are you just gonna ignore me the whole entire way home?" He looks at me when the light is red. "Emma? Should e just talk about it when we get home?" All I could do was nod. No words were coming out, no matter what I did. The lights turned green and we were on our way home. 

Time: 1:34PM

We finally pulled up in his driveway and he decides to park in the garage, so I have to wait in the van until he's finished. Once thee garage door is closed he unlocks the doors and looks over at me. "You ready to go in?" He gave me a weak smile. I nod my head slightly and get out of the van. I wait for him to lead me into the house- as I watch him grab his things I notice his shirt is rising and I can see his torso. Oh my god... he works out so much.. I can hardly breath. My cheeks are turning so red, it feels like my face is on fire. I try to cool myself down by fanning my face with my hand, and he notices this. "Emma, you want some water? We can go in- the kitchen is straight, then to the left, okay?" I nod my head and walk in quickly. As I walk into the kitchen, two of the fluffiest dogs come running up to me and I'm overwhelmed with so much emotions.  

"Oh hey, I hope you're not allergic! Are you?"  I look over at him and smile so brightly. "No no no, I love dogs! These guys are beautiful!" I knelt to the ground and got kisses from both of them! I loved this, I didn't want this feeling to go. At all. 

Time: 2:21PM

I am on his couch beside him, drinking some water. I have no idea what to talk about. I'm deciding what to talk about- like: How old are you? "I'm 21. Yeah, I know I don't look it, but I am. And yourself young lady?" I blush and look over at him. "I'm 18..." I can't look at him... Instead, I just look around. "Is it okay if I take a shower? I'm soaking wet, and if I stay in these clothes any longer, I might get sick." I turn my face back to his and notice him blushing a bit. Awe... "Well, ugh, yeah.. of course. I..I mean...we can't have you getting sick now, right?" I shake my head and smile at him. "Oh, also.. I don't have a change of clothes. I mean I'm wearing shorts under the dress because what girl in their right mind won't? God, am I babbling? Please stop me if I am. Am I?" I look at him with a goofy smile and cover my face, all I hear from him is a chuckle. I sneak a peek and he's shaking his head at me and smiles sweetly. "Of course Emma. Anything for you..."  "Where's the shower? Or should I just find it on my own and get lost?" I begin to laugh a little at myself. I notice he is laughing as well. "I'll show you okay, Em? Do you need an extra pair of clothing too? You know what? You can wear my shirt. Okay?" I nod my head and follow him to the bathroom. "So, all I have is mens shampoo, if thats okay? I've got the soap right here and a towel too. Good?" I smile uncontrollably at him. "Is everything okay?" I sit up on the bathroom counter and nod my head again. "Okay, you just smiling at me and nodding, doesn't reassure me that you are oka-" I couldn't help myself. I just leaned in and kissed him on the lips. His hands were on my waist. My hands were in his hair ruffling it all up. I know this could never be, but I had this feeling of an overwhelming love pulling me to the ground- I just had to dive in and try him out. No I will never play with his feelings or his heart, but I will play the field for a bit. I finally pull away and apologize immediately. "I am so sorry. I have no idea what came over me. I should g- Mmm!" I was taken by surprise when he's the one who initiated the kissing. I wrapped my legs around his waist for a firm grip, not wanting to let go. Ever. I needed to see where this went. He pulls my dress over my head and asks me if this is okay. I don't reply. What should I do? Make him my rebound? That doesn't seem fair. I shouldn't play with his heart. Right?