𝐏𝐃𝐀 ; 𝐰𝐝𝐰 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬 (𝐛𝐱𝐛)

falling

ship - none
warnings - death, suicide
wc - 1217
°

He felt numb. He couldn't feel his fingers, feel his legs, feel his face. He couldn't feel his feelings. He felt as if he was empty, as if all of the contents of his body had spilled out of him. He felt as if there was no life left in him. Nothing. He felt nothing.

He found it quite funny. He hadn't always felt like this. He used to be able to feel. He would laugh, he would cry, he had the ability to let emotion take full control of his body. He would feel things. He would feel the blood running through his veins, the fire burning in his body. He used to feel alive.

He hadn't felt that way for what felt like an eternity. Not since It happened. Not since It had taken the person closest to him. He had forfeit the ability to feel anything in exchange for the pain to end. It had drained all of the real life out of him.

He had always wondered why it wasn't himself who was gone. He had stayed up countless nights staring at his wall, screaming at the sky, listening to the voices inside his head that repeatedly told him that it should have been him. He was always the one getting hurt, doing stupid things. Not Him. He was the more sensible one, the one who set a good example. He was the perfect role model, the perfect student, the perfect son, the perfect brother.

He had always been there for him when he had rough days. He used to help him with his homework. He had taught him how to play hockey. He had been the one to comfort him when he had broken his ankle. He had come to all of his games, bringing him apple juice for afterwards. He had promised that he would never leave, and He never broke promises.

Yet still, He left. He had left him on his own, without any warning or sign. He couldn't wrap his head around that fact that the person he trusted the most could leave him so alone, in a world that was so cruel to the ones already hurting.

The day It happened, he vowed that if he really couldn't find happiness, he would join his beloved brother. He would leave this cruel world behind.

Now, every fibre of his body was begging to be put to rest. He wanted so badly to escape that it was almost unbearable. He decided it was time. Time to meet with his brother once again, and have all of the questions that had been haunting his mind answered.

Even though it seemed that he felt nothing on the inside, he woke every morning to paint an ever-so convincing smile upon his face. He was the goalie of his hockey team, he had the grades, he had the friends, he had the girl. People liked him. Which was why no one ever saw it coming. No one thought to check in on the boy who was believed to be an open book. No one cared enough to look deep into the dark chapters. They were all too captivated by the shiny metallic cover that read "Golden Boy."

Now, he was going up the stairs, making his way to the rooftop of the school building. He passed his science teacher in the staircase. She smiled at him, and he forced one back. Little did she know that she would be the last person to ever see him with a smile on his face.

Once he got to the roof, he went right to the edge. He wanted everything to be quick, to get it over and done with so he could finally be reunited with Him once more. He blankly looked down towards the ground. The building was extremely tall, certainly tall enough for what he was about to do.