What's Even Taboo?

Chapter One

As I heard the sound of my alarm blare I rolled over to smack it off almost instantly. If only I had that much energy for the rest of the process of getting out of bed. I continued to roll around and play on my phone for a few minutes before finally managing to get myself out of bed and stare at the piercing light coming through my windows."Fucking mornings." I spoke to myself. Only slightly considering if I was going crazy this morning. As I got to my feet and started to prepare for the day, I couldn't help but escape into my own thoughts again."Why, why do I do this?" I spoke to myself again, questioning my sanity more. Repeating the same cycle everyday and always worried about money. I only filled myself with stress everyday. My eyes felt heavy despite sleeping for so long. I am suppose to feel rested, yet, I feel as if I stayed up all night anyways. Is my body just weak?Looking at the clock pulled me out of my own head as I ran to car and started to speed off to not be late for work. Only slowing down for the hidden cop spots I was aware of I made it to my job only 3 minutes late. "You are late Krista." My manager said from behind me, sending shivers down my spine. How does such a small Filipino lady scare me so much? She's not even 5 feet tall."Sorry." I mumbled as I finished clocking into the computer and turned to my right. I took a good hard look at the chaos for today. I let out a deep sigh before even seeing my station. Boxes full of napkins are still left out on the counter, a croissant covered in jelly sitting dead center in the prep area, spots of coffee no one cared to mop up, and a rolling bottle of whip cream. "Got this Krista?" One of the morning shift ladies told me before handing me her apron. She turned around to clock out as I looked down at the stained white tile struggling to tie my apron behind my back before giving up and tying it in the front. I heard the screaming from two other small ladies who started there shift a little while before mine in a language I don't understand then their annoying laughter that sounds more witch-like than any cartoon could do justice to.I shrugged it off becoming use to this kind of treatment as I started to clean before any customers came in. Periodically being yelled at for being too slow and told to do this and that. My frustration building as usual I practically ran to computer to clock out for my lunch break. I let out a sigh of relief as I pulled my black hair down and out of this stupid tight bun. I started to walk around the corner to order my food when I heard my manager call for me."Krista, can I see you for a minute?" She stated looking at me with those huge glasses that hid most of her face, but she did look worried for whatever reason."Um, it's my break but okay I guess." I said feeling concerned as I followed her to the tiny office. Standing uncomfortably looking at all the boxes of donuts and papers stacked up high by the computer."Sit down" she stated and wheeled back comfortably into her chair. I sat down started to feel sweat drip down my face. Was I being fired??"Okay I have a personal question for you okay Krista? You are not in trouble." Her worried expression only started to show more."Are you pregnant?" She suddenly stated. I felt my jaw literally drop in pure shock she just asked that. On my break non the less."Um, what the hell?" I said still very confused. Yeah I gained some weight because I started to eat healthy after spiraling into unhealthy dieting habits for years. I thought this job would help pull me out of my head and make me more hungry to eat so I could start to heal. I guess it did, too well.... It's just a symptom to gain it around the tummy first right though? To help with insulation or something?? Being to panic into my own head I barely heard her start to talk about birth control options and if I had any and how they cause so much weight gain. I shut her right up as I stood up."I'm not fucking pregnant and i'm dealing with this shit anymore! Always yelling at me that I suck at my job, that I gained weight, no one ever helping me pick up and just leaving messes! I'm done!" I exclaimed fighting back the tears down my face from the hurt of the insult and stress of the day coming out. Before she could say another word I stormed out of her office and out of that stupid bakery. Not caring anymore about how good this was suppose to be for me. I needed my thoughts now, not a distraction that brought back my healing insecurities.