daily writings

8/3/19 (even though i havent gone to bed yet)

   The curly haired brunette looked down at her notebook. Upon reading what she had finished writing, she sighed and raised her eyebrows in disgust and frustration. Nothing she had written was good enough. There wasnt a single good idea. How was she supposed to complete something if she HATED it? The word choice was juvenile,  the plot was shallower than a mirror, her characters were like cardboard cut outs of cardboard cut outs. Her dialouge was stiff, and unrealistic, and if she had to be honest, so were her descriptions. It read like just another trend hopping short story.  Still a better love story than twilight though. Barely. She didnt want to be responsible for another... wildly popular and now 3 movies guide book for shitty writing and abuse. She couldnt show this to a single soul...  other than her quite possibly soulless sister.

   These were her daily thoughts. She the nice ones. It didnt MATTER how much she enjoyed writing. It didnt MATTER how much her sister told her she should, and could get published. If she didnt like it... wasn't proud of it, how could she justify inflicting her brain crap onto the world.

  Why was the one thing she was... marginally not horrid at... still so hard to get right. If you listened to everyone who she had shown her work to, she was amazing at this. And all she saw? Warm... fly infested... maggot hatching... steaming... heaps of crap. It was enough to make anyone rage. There was so much she didnt have down. Sentence structure. Plots. Fucking creativity. Descriptions. World building. Sequence of events. Characters. Fucking fuckety dialouge. She had a pure HATE relationship with dialogue. Dialogue was... she wasnt even good at it in real life... face to face. Making one side of it. And she was supposed to keep track of fake dialogue? In multiple voices? With multiple agendas? And  every other fuckety fucking thing? Mannerisms. Voice. Expressions. Thoughts. Detail. Characters. Show dont tell. Pacing. Need to know. Every thing being relevant. She couldnt even do that in real life! Maybe for kids books, hell, she conversed with her kids on a daily basis.  Since, you know, kids like talking. Which, hey, nothing wrong with that, oh my god theyve got energy. So, what? To accomplish her goal, she had to.... work, parent, wife, friend/sister, practice her craft ( which for being a special talent, requires a lot of effort), and... somehow find tim to debate sleeping? Thats a lot of work for something that shes supposedly good at. Hell, amazing even. Until you actually look at her work.

Long story short, dont just tell people that something is amazing if they havent had to put effort into it. Ceven if they are. You get people like her, who grow up expecting 'oh, im fantastic at this, so it takes no effort' and then get frustrated and give up at the forst sign of hard work. Hell, that right there. Thats why she hasnt finished crap. Because it takes effort. 

This is all. Have a great night, guys