Vauseman One Shots

Marriage Counseling {SmUt.. Kinda..}

"Baby please... it doesn't cost a lot!" Larry begged.

"You made a mistake and want to fix it by going to Marriage counseling!? You know how embarrassing!?-"

"-Baby, she hears a lot of problems, way worse than ours! Ours is by most the least embarrassing thing she's ever heard I bet."

"No.. do you know how embarrassing it is that people will know we're going to counseling because you cheated on me!? I've made fun of people who go to counseling! Now I'm in it!"

"Please! I'm sorry, just give it a chance!? One day and we'll see how it all works. I made an appointment we're suppose to be there in thirty minutes. Some lady named Alex Vause is going to be our counselor."

"She's probably old as hell! Probably won't catch up to how fast we're gonna end up yelling at each other."

"Please?" He said pouting.

"Fine."

~~~~

"Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Bloom please step into my office."

I looked up and I saw a tall hot lady with a pencil skirt and blouse. She has a very slim body and long black hair. "Who are you!?"

"I'm your counselor." She said.

Alex Vause. I never thought a human being could bless my eyes. Let's not forget about that voice. Me and Larry walked into her office.

"Can I hear both sides of the story of what happened please?" Alex asked slowly looking me up and down, only me. Even though she was talking to both Larry and I, she was only looking at me.

"Well..." I said getting started. "I'm a surgeon and you know how the work hours are long shifts or whatever. Come home early to surprise my husband and catch him in bed with some other thot. Now I want a divorce, and he wants marriage counseling."

Alex lifted one eyebrow and looked over to Larry. "Larry, can you tell me your side?"

"The girl kept on insisting-"

"- So what!? You gave in!?" I said angrily interrupting.

"Piper.." Alex said sternly. The way she said my name sent chills down my spine. "Let Larry finish."

"Anyways, you're never home, I wanted to get laid but you always say how you're always so tired to have sex. And I still love you. The girl was only just for sex! I was horny and I was getting blue balls!"

"Larry... clearly me and you aren't right for each other."

"No no don't say that!" Larry pleaded.

"I don't come home because I like my job more than I like you." I blurted out with wide eyes. I heard Alex quietly snicker but Larry was too surprised to pay attention.

"Also! You're bad in bed... like.. really bad. Can't even get a decent orgasm. The only reason I stayed was because you're nice and I don't want to break your heart and I had no reason to but now.. this is a reason. I like you as a friend." I said smiling awkwardly.

"If I had a dollar for all those times I could've came home but didn't because then I had to put up with you... I could end world hunger and give homes to the homeless people." I said chuckling.

Then I saw tears coming from his eyes. "I'll go home and sign the divorce papers." Larry whispered. He got up and walked away to go sit in the car.

I got my bag and stood up too. "Sorry we wasted your time."

"No worries." Alex said smirking as she got up. "It was entertaining."

"And embarrassing.. like who talks about sex in front of a strangers."