Sad!

I just want him to love me. You know the way a daddy suppose to love his daughter? Unconditionally. I feel sad. I feel sad for my mama. But I feel sad for him too because he doesn't know how to love me. He says he does but he never shows me. He just insults me. I feel sad. You know the deep black hole inside of me? It's missing because he put it there. I feel sad. So sad I could cry for hours on end. Cuts on end. He makes "jokes" that I laugh off but I'm hurt. You know the real, deep ass black hole. It feels like a piece of me is missing when I look at him. He's got this evil ass look too. It's cool though, I don't mind being hurt because I know he will feel better about himself and I'm okay with that.