Healed Heart

heartbreak1

HEARTBREAK 1

“Am I that too desperate? I’m just asimple girl until you came, I’ve changed a lot.”

 I’m almost screaming at the top of my lungs, I can’t take it anymore. How can he manage himself facing at me with an empty emotions, I can see it through his dark hollow eyes. Tears are falling down in my cheeks, I wipe off the tears taking some courage to realize one big thing and I must go. I must go far away from that annoying place, ridiculous crowd and from him. I run away as fast I could.

Tall trees, blinking street lights, cars at the parking area, convenience stores still operating at that time, I don’t mind them. The most important thing that keeps running in my mind is to escape the embarrassment he brought to my life. I don’t know where to go, I just run, run and run. And then I stopped. Why? The heels of my fancy shoes were broken. I don’t have any choice to keep that memorable shoes he gave me. I throw it like my undying love for him.

TEARS TEARSTEARS WENT DOWN.

I’m tired not just physically with my bare feet, eyes that are still crying pushing myself to cry hard enough but also emotionally especially my heart, he hurt my feelings.

Then suddenly it rains. I didn’t notice that I already reached our subdivision. I’m walking like a paranoid zombie, I’m already wet. My blue cocktail dress were ruin. I remember how excited I was to wear this horrible dress. I already drained off my strength and energy when he told me that EVERYTHING WAS A LIE! How bad he is? How can he play around my hopeful heart that still believes that there will someone who will love me for who I am? And I thought it was you.

“Ma’am are you alright?” he security guard ask me at the guardhouse.

AM I ALRIGHT? Can I ask myself? Of course! I’m not alright, I’m not fine, I’m not O.K. Is that clear? But I don’t have any power to answer his crazy question because one thing for sure his next question will be WHY? I just continued my walk.

When I reached the playground area, I sat on the swing.  I look at the skies, I cannot see any stars just like the trust I gave you, I’msearching on it but I can’t find ‘cause you already broke, destroyed and vanished it all. The rainare still dropping into my skin. I can’t feel anything even though I know its cold due to rain. LESSON LEARN: you’ll get great tolerance when you were hurt by someone you really love. I closed my eyes slowly. It’s hard to know that even when I closed my eyes I can still see you with our happy memories.